Lamaze 1. Chason 0.

I went to my first ever Lamaze class tonight. Seven couples, seven large pregnant women, seven uneasy looking husbands, one really excited teacher.

I haven't felt that awkward in a long time.

As an example for relaxation, the instructor placed her hands on me and I quote, 'Pet me like a cat.'

The uncomfortable smile that was plastered to my face at that point had to be pried off with a crowbar.

Then we watched the video.

How as a man can I possibly watch such a video with a serious look on my face? Cassie rubbing my arm the whole time like a cat.

Then, to better understand what my wife is going through, I had to pretend I was pregnant. I had to practice controlled breathing and relaxation. My hips have never felt more embarrassed.

Upon leaving I decreed, what happen at Lamaze stays at Lamaze.

And I guess that's it then.

Cheers.

Church Buys Building Phenomena

Well this issue came up again with me just a couple days ago.

The scenario: A church (a couple hundred members). The staff, led by the pastor, decides they need to build a bigger building. A bigger building will mean more seats. More seats means more people. More people means more money, more success, but less room in the building. Eventually the cycle restarts itself because now the church (500 or so members) led by the pastor, decides they need another building.

Another building will mean more seats. More seats means more people. More people...

Or so the theory goes. I imagine that seminaries or Bible schools or conferences are pushing this plan. I haven't really heard it from faculty at DTS but I heave heard it spilling off the lips of some DTS students.

You take a church like Prestonwood in North Dallas. It's a city of itself, within a city. I imagine at some point it started small and now it stands like a Baptist Mecca in the North Dallas sky. A monolith, a metal mountain.


Anyway, back to the story.

So I was hearing that this small little church plant (under 100 members) was being led by the pastor to buy a new building. Truth be told, their tiny little church does need the space. They are currently meeting in a small office area in a shopping complex.

They found this other building that was bigger and are pushing hard toward buying the building, getting the loan, the whole process. So the questions that come up are:
'Should a church this size be getting such a large loan?'
'Is God not powerful enough to give them a better building?'
'Will the church not be prisoner to this loan for the next twenty thirty years?'
'Is getting into another building really the next step in the growing life in the church?'
'Will this church become the next Prestonwood if it continues this cycle?'

Dang good questions.



So when I went to answer these questions, I did my best to come up with clear answers but was surprised at the first thing that popped into my head.

'Does the pastor teach that you should be out of debt?'
Yes.
'Does the pastor teach that you should budget your money well as to pay off credit cards and mortgages?'
Yes.
'Then why would a church so willingly go into so much debt in buying a new building?'

And then, to my surprise as well as maybe to yours, I had a mini-war inside my head.

Yes, a mini-war. Sorta a Judge Judy thing.

Chason, you can't be serious. Everybody has to get a mortgage. Like maybe 5% of people can pay for homes in cash. Should a church really be any different? What are they supposed to do? All these church members are packed into the rooms like sardines. Sure the loan may be big, but isn't God going to provide for them?

Well Chason, those are all darn good points. And might I add that you are looking handsome today. But just because everybody gets a mortgage, does that mean we should just strive for that rut? So it's OK to tell people to pay off their cars, credit cards, furniture, etc. It's OK to tell them that God wants them to be free from debt with everything but a large mortgage? Look at the current housing crisis. People are foreclosing everywhere because they owe more than they can afford. Aren't churches the same way? They build these huge multi-million dollar buildings and then stay in debt to them for tens of years to come?

Yes, but Chason, God provides the money for those buildings.

How?

Well, through tithes and offerings of the members.

But doesn't that take years and years and years to pay off the debt?

Well sure.

If God provides the money for these huge buildings, why not provide the money up front? Isn't God big into stewardship? Why would he want churches to pay millions in interest costs? That doesn't seem like good stewardship.

Because God has all the money in the world. If he wants to throw money away on interest in order to provide bigger and better space that's his business. It's not like he can't get more money elsewhere any time he needs it.

But why is that philosophy considered bad whenever the pastor tells me to get out of debt once or twice a year?

Because it's a little different. The situations aren't synonymous.

That doesn't seem right. Also, I thought the church was the people, not the building. Does God even need a building?

Chason, stop it. You are being too cynical and didactic. You need to just chill out.
(further conversation edited out for your time consideration)


So, should a church go deep into debt in order to get into bigger and better buildings? Is this really God's way of provision for his people? Is the contradiction between having members get out of debt and having churches purposefully get into debt really not worth consideration?

Hmm....

A Moment of Silence Please

For those of you who don't know:

Today March 12, a woman, her two children, and her husband were driving along highway 30 through Dallas. The couple was in the midst of some sort of huge spat and then the woman had the husband pull the car over and she got out along with her two children, an eight year old, and a five year old.

The husband drove away in anger leaving the mom and kids on the side of the highway. The mom walked up the road to an overpass and hurled both her boys off the bridge and then jumped herself.

The last I have heard, one boy and the mother have died. The other boy is in critical condition. (This information may be a little spotty but I will update it as I hear more.)

This is truly an unbearable thing to hear about. I can't imagine what was going on in the parent's minds, in the poor children's minds...it hurts my soul to think about it.

I will not disgrace this tragedy with a picture above or with long drawn out comments.

I would like to say this though. I thought about it for a while this afternoon. I occasionally have people ask me why I am such a strong believer in Jesus, why Jesus really matters, why the world needs God, and so forth.

I feel that if you can tell me why this sort of thing, a woman throwing her own children that grew inside her stomach for nine months, birthed them, weened them, fed them, dressed them, took them to school, had birthday parties for them, read bedtime stories to them, hugged them, kissed them...

If you can explain why this sort of thing happens in this world - then I think my desperate need for Christ can be understood by anyone and everyone.

This world, even on it's best day...

The Dude with the Nipple Ring

I go to this gym three to five times a week. Partly as a resolution and partly because I really enjoy it. Most of you long term readers have heard about some of my gym exploits.

Anyhow, on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays this Hispanic dude works out at the same time as my brother and I do. I bring this up not because he's Hispanic, but because a weird sort of relationship has blossomed and I find myself asking God, 'Why is this dude talking to me like this?'

Let me explain.

First, this dude is pretty darn buff. Ripped some might say. He tans, does the whole body shave thing. How do I know this? Because he shows up at the gym in this shirt that's not really a shirt. More like a small rag that hangs around his neck revealing everything. I have convinced myself that he only wears the rag to wipe sweat away and meet the 'No shirt, no shoes, no service' rule.

Sometimes his girlfriend comes in with him. He lives with her somewhere in North Dallas.

He occasionally asks me to spot him, which I do, and we talk about all sorts of stuff.

Today, he proudly showed me his new nipple ring and then complained that it hurt like the dickens when he flexed. I said yeah it probably would. He asked me what I thought of it. I said well if you're into that sort of thing it's probably pretty cool. It's all round and shiny ya know? The ring, not the nipple.

He got both nipples done. He's pretty excited.

He happens to be 20 years old, graduated high school in 06 - barely graduated. He now works 40 hours a week and would like to go back to school and become a professional trainer for a sports team somewhere. He's afraid that he wont make it. He feels that he just doesn't have the brain to make it through any sort of higher education. He feels he doesn't have any real talents except working out. And being really darn buff.

I told him with his kind of motivation and diligence at the gym that he could surely get through and college program. He asked me about finances, scheduling, what school to go to around here and why, etc. We talked off and on for 20 minutes or so today, planning things all out.

At the end, he said 'Thanks dude. I have been waiting for someone to say that. I have been talking myself out of it, but if you think I can do it...well, that's what I need to hear.'

He went away excited to go to school. He's also looking forward to meeting me again on Friday.


I bring up my Hispanic friend (Zach by the way) to illustrate a point. I actively pray that I am ready to engage people for Christ. I don't really go around looking for these sorts of relationships, but they pop up anyway. And a large part of it is that I think God knows I will take the time out of my busy schedule to talk to people. Even people with nipple rings. People with nipple rings that live with their girlfriends in a non-traditional lifestyle.

I don't even mind when his sweaty rag hits me when I spot him. Well, maybe a little.

However,

Maybe meeting Zach was the whole reason I go to this gym. Maybe it was to meet him. I don't know. I don't mean to sound at all high and mighty. I just try to see things and random connections like God might have a purpose in it all. And I do actively look for these sorts of opportunities...which do in turn keep occurring. On airplanes, in front lawns, at parks, in school, at the gym...everywhere it seems.

I think God uses simple things like this all the time in his divine plans. These little chance meetings that connect people, that influence people, that brings more and more together. God sees me get on the plane and he sits me right next to a dude living a horrible lifestyle, rich, famous, owns vineyards in Napa...and the dude wants to talk to me about God.

There's really nothing chance or coincidental about it. It's too 'Jesus would do this' sort of thing.

So may you this day, stop and look around. May you enjoy talking to nipple ringed people. May you have a chance meeting at Potbelly or Subway. May you find a fellow dog-walker at the park and have a conversation.

Anybody talking to you?

Cheers.

Hillary Wins Texas

I just heard via the TV that Hillary has won Texas in the democratic primary.

On a side note:

I once heard on the television show Frasier,

That at some university, Columbia I think, there is this microscope that is so powerful that it can zoom down and examine the very tiniest parts of the atom.

If I had said microscope in my possession right now, I still would not be able to find my interest in Hillary Clinton.

On a side note:

I just watched Pink, the vocal artist, on Conan O'Brian as she dribbled on for about five minutes promoting her current cause - that being, the inhumane use of horses.

Perhaps on a perfect friday night, your date took you outside the bistro in which you ate, and the night was twinkling and the moon shown down upon you and the moment was so beautiful.

And then, just then, a man with a small white horse-drawn carriage pulled up next to you. Fate. The cosmic stars collided to create such a magic moment. You and your gorgeous date climbed into the carriage and then, to the click clack of the horse hooves, you took a ride through downtown. You gaze into each others eyes, (your date's eyes, not the horse's eyes), you share a whisper.

You kiss.

Ahhh........ eternal bliss.



TIME TO END IT ALL PEOPLE. NO MORE ROMANTIC CARRIAGE RIDES! It's INHUMANE!

Pink told about a man who's horse collapsed in the middle of the road in New York. The carriage rider jumped out with a whip and whipped the horse till it got up. The horse made it back to it's stall and died.

Yup, everybody has seen this sort of thing happen. And the horses look so sad all the time.

Sure Darfur is going on - but we MUST look out for the poor carriage ponies first people. Save the world.

And the worst part of the horse issue is that I was told (by a leprechaun in my ear) that the horses AREN'T GOING GREEN!!!!

But I'm sure if you go to Al Gores website you can pay him to offset your carbon usage during the inhumane carriage ride.




And this horsie trauma is another reason why I am no longer so much worried about politics....the rest of the country is going crazy.....why not the politicians too?

Cheers.

Take One Down, Pass it Around...

Last night, I was watching this documentary called 'The Business of Being Born' with Cassie. I don't want to talk about that here. But I bring it up because right in the middle of the film I got this text message from my buddy in Arkansas. It read:

'Did Jesus drink real wine?'

Now, I cannot begin to tell you how many times this question has come up. Over and over again, this question burns through people trying to figure out why we drink grape juice on Sundays - why Christians 'don't' drink alcohol - Why the Seminary banns it's students from drinking during the time in which they are there - on and on.

I have heard all sorts of bizarre explanations.

1. No, Jesus is God and God would never get drunk.
2. Not really. Sure it was wine that Jesus drank, but the wine was really watered down, like Koolade juice. No real kick to it.
3. Yes, it was real wine but Jesus is God so it didn't have any effect on him.
4. Jesus would never drink wine because he would want to set a good example for the rest of the world.
5. Yes it was real wine and Jesus got Tipsy.

I have wrestled with this too in my own life. And I will go ahead and tell you what I believe the Bible says concerning this matter.
However, this is not an endorsement to drink. It is not a license to drink. To each person lies a certain responsibility concerning this matter. This is my opinion. You are on your own.

There is no indication in the Greek text that the wine that Jesus drank, and the wine that Jesus created during the wedding celebration, was not real wine.

Some teachers and scholars have decided that the wine Jesus drank was watered down. I don't believe this to be true. Studies of the Romans show that they had vineyards and knew how to press good wine. When Jesus provided wine for the celebration, I believe he created the best.

At the passover, I believe that Jesus again used real fermented wine. I believe it had a kick to it. I believe the wine was absolutely red. A dark red. And I am sure it tasted pretty darn good too.

I believe Jesus drank real wine. I believe his followers drank wine too. We have an account in 1st Corinthians where Christians are drunk at a gathering. So they were no doubt using real wine. Of course they are rebuked on account of their drunken state. But the wine was real none the less.

Paul even encourages Timothy to drink a little wine with his meal since it is good for the stomach (1st Timothy 5).

The trick people lies in TWO VERY IMPORTANT THOUGHTS!!!!!

1. Are you getting drunk?
The Bible states in many many places that drunkenness is a bad thing. Romans 13:13 'Let us behave properly as in the day, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual promiscuity and sensuality, not in strife and jealousy.'

1st Timothy 1:7 'For the overseer must be above reproach as God's steward, not self-willed, not quick-tempered, not addicted to wine, not pugnacious, not fond of sordid gain,'

1st Peter 4:3 'For you have spent enough time in the past doing what pagans choose to do-- living in debauchery, lust, drunkenness, orgies, carousing and detestable idolatry.'

Drunkenness. Not Good. I wouldn't want to risk getting drunk. And since wine (alcohol) lowers ones ability to think clearly, as well as lowers ones will power, as a Christian I would be very careful with how, when, where, the amount, and with who I drink. One stupid drunken accident can ruin the reputation of the believer, thus shaming the one who the believer represents.
YOU DO NOT WANT THAT ON YOUR HEAD.

And that brings us to number Two.
1. Are you causing weaker brothers to stumble?
You never know the previous lives and struggles of other people. You may think it's fine to drink, but then you set that example to others. Some of these others maybe shouldn't fall into this issue. Younger brothers? Sisters? Youth? If they see you license drinking, are they responsible and mature enough to drink when they are of age? I know lots of people in college (and before college) that experienced horrible things at drunken parties. Would I want to have had an influence to encourage them to that spot? Probably not.

I have also heard the idea: What if it is the one who drinks that is the weaker brother? I mean after all, why risk it? Why drink something in which you have to be so careful? Why risk influencing others who will then have to deal with the issue as well? Is not the stronger brother the one who can drink Sprite and never deal with the issue of drunkenness in their lives? Is temporary enjoyment worth the risk?


And that my friends is where I leave the issue to you. Yes, Jesus did drink wine. Real wine. The good stuff.

But should you? You have to make that choice yourself, knowing that if you choose to license the usage of alcohol you are also responsible for not only your actions with it, but also the influence you set with others. Others whom you may not even know you have such an influence. You never know who is watching after all.

Cheers.

10 Reasons for Obama

Obama is not my choice for President. Unfortunately for me - neither is anybody else. I do not feel the slightest bit represented by these candidates. But there is nothing I can do about it at this point is there?

So I thought I would at least make my prediction about why the inexperienced make-everybody-feel-happy Obama is going to win this pathetic election. Here are my top ten reasons why I think Obama is going to win the Presidential office; and they all relate to the general public.

1. Pogs.


In case you don't remember, in the early 90's these little cardboard milk caps were put onto the market. Each cap had a picture of something (unicorn, skull, sparkles, whatever) on one side and was blank on the other. You could buy a stack of 10 pogs for $5 - $10 dollars depending on how cool the design was on them. Then, you also bought 'slammers', thick versions of pogs made with bronze or copper, along with a circular cork board (that had a yin yang on it) that you played 'pogs' on. The game was the stupidest thing to ever have existed. However, it caught the public's eye for a short period of time and millions and millions of pogs were sold. Today, pogs don't exist and most people try to forget if they ever had any themselves. I for instance had over 300. Why? I don't know. I always hated the stupid game. But everybody else had them so.....

2. Slap Bracelets.



In fourth grade stores came out with these little pieces of thin metal that curled like a tape measure when bent. They covered the metal with thin decorated cloth. You would fold the bracelet out and it would lie straight as an arrow. But if you slapped it on your arm, the bracelet would bend and hold onto your wrist. These bracelets cost anywhere from $1 to $10 dollars at the store. Today, they have vanished. Another trend of the times. Why they became popular, no one really knows.

I was at Don Pablo's one night with my parents. I was like nine or ten years old. And this waiter actually traded me a die-cast metal bat-plane (from Batman the movie with Michael Keaton) for my zebra colored snap bracelet. No joke.

3. Jesus calls people sheep. People tend to act like them. Baah. Baah.




4. The jean roll.
I'm not sure who made it famous, perhaps MC Hammer. But I remember rolling up my jeans so that they were super tight on the bottom. Everyone in school did this. I don't remember starting to myself. I just remember that I did. I have pictures with my jeans rolled up tight like a bagel around my leg.

5. 'Change'
Obama's campaign centers around change. People love the word change (save some people over the age of 75 who attend Baptist Churches). Anytime someone offers change people listen up. People get excited. They don't even necessarily have a clue about what exactly defines the persons usage of 'change'. He could be talking about coins after all but who would know? Lots of people in history have offered up change. Some have been good. Some have been Stalin.

6. Anything beats Hillary and putting her horrible-role-model-of-a-husband back in the white house. Think of all the secretaries in the white house. Probably hundreds....

7. The republicans are no longer conservatives. So they don't stand for much of anything. And if you have nothing to stand on....

8. Socialism.
Even though it has never worked successfully in the history of man, even though it brings depression and wickedness everywhere it goes, even though it equalizes those men with genius and those men with no life motivation whatsoever - Socialism may work this time.

9. He is better looking than the other candidates. While this matters not to some, it does matter a heck of a lot to others. Why? For the same reason Redbook, Cosmo, the National Enquirer, and other such magazines sell millions of copies a year. We are deep thinkers in this country.

10. When left to choose between moldy food and dried out food....