Monday, December 31, 2007

New Years Resolution


It is that time of year again. The ball will fall in Times Square - everyone will cheer and clap and kiss - and then we will all wake up the next day and begin the stupid thing we call the

New Years Resolution(s)

This tradition is how we begin every year with frustration. We create these goals that by January 12th (if you're lucky) we break them, starting the year in sad depression.
Yet, here it is again, almost December 31st, and I am seriously considering another resolution. Am I crazy? What's wrong with me?

To pick my resolution I decided to join everyone else by choosing one of the top ten New Years Resolutions.

1. Spend Time with Family.
2. Physical Fitness.
3. Tame the Bulge.
4. Quit Smoking.
5. Enjoy Life More.
6. Quit Drinking.
7. Get Out of Debt.
8. Learn Something New.
9. Help Others.
10. Get Organized.

Well.....which one to choose. I don't smoke. Check.

I drink very very little. Check.

I am out of Debt. Check.

I enjoy life a lot. Check.

Helping others seems kind of ambiguous. Like...help them eat? help them build a house? In general, I think I am pretty helpful so I am going to just check this one too.

I do not like the idea of being organized. At all. So no check for this one.

So that leaves me with really two options; spend time with family - get in shape.

Get in shape it is.



But I know right now that this is impossible. It never works. I am not going to be like those people on the commercials that say -
'I weighed 250 lbs but since I started trying 'loseyourfatbutt' additive in my milk shakes I have lost 200 lbs!'

So this one will probably die pretty quickly. Let me tell you how it works.

1. Start the diet. Day One.
2. Day Three. Hate the diet.
3. Day Four. Pass up on getting Starbucks. Begin to hate life. (Which goes against resolution number five).
4. Day Seven. Having become bitter, I weigh myself to see the progress. 1 frickin pound lost.
5. I drive to Starbucks admitting defeat.
6. Resolution failed.

So by January 12th, expect a report on my failed resolution.

But for all of you who make resolutions, don't worry. You will surely make it to the end.

Good Luck.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Merry Christmas

Twas the day of Christmas
and no friends of grinches
we bought dad a TV
the size of 73 inches

Guitar Hero was blaring
Shaking every wall
Rocking my pants off
Eyebrows and all

Cassie got good movies
Books, clothes, and candy
She stopped me from going to the store
to buy brandy.

My family was excited
Playing games, and unwrapping
We ate till we all got sick
Some found time for napping.

So until the New Year comes
And your face needs Guitar Hero rocking
May your day be very merry
And if the doors shut - don't come knocking.

Cheers.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Ktty Delves Deeper


I awoke this morning, walked into the pantry to get breakfast, and was greeted by death.

Never in the history of man, except for a handful of times over the last few years at my parents house, has there been a more horrifying and pungent smell. Death doesn't need a scythe when he smells this bad. The sickening smell actually makes death less scary because its not like he can sneak up on you with a smell like that.

As it turns out, the kitty hadn't failed after all. She had done worse. (From the post earlier about locking the kitty in the pantry with the mouse).

After tearing apart every nook and cranny, looking underneath every bag and bowl, after flipping both the washer and the dryer, I have deduced what truly transpired the other day between the cat and mouse.

1. The mean butt cat was placed into the laundry room with the mouse and sealed in there.
2. Chason leaves the apartment for the day.
3. The mouse takes a lengthy nap underneath the washing machine, safely away from the cat.
4. Upon waking from his nice sleep, the mouse had forgotten it was in the middle of a dual to the death and tried to return home, up the water heater to the hole in the ceiling.
5. Half way up the pipe, the cat sprung, swiping the mouse down to the ground 8 feet below.
6. Stunned, the mouse limped back under the washing machine.
8. Realizing that the wound to the mouse would be mortal, the cat stretched out on a shelf to rest and watch the mouses demise.
9. The mouse, like Rocky, uses it's last bit of strength to climb all the way up into the ceiling under the watchful eye of the cat.
10. There, safely above the pantry and out of reach, the mouse died wreaking it's vengeful smell upon the world.
11. The cat, smelling death, was satisfied by the fact that it not only got to kill the mouse, but it would also get to watch me search the entire laundry room for the dead mouse.

I am now convinced the cat could have slaughtered the mouse 8 ways to Sunday, but it CHOSE instead to do the one thing that would put my life in distress instead; that being stinking up my entire apartment where Cassie demands that we leave and take her out to dinner and find a motel.

Have I ever mentioned that I am a dog person?

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Box 001: Divorce in the Church


How does divorce affect the church? What ministries should divorced people hold? Can a divorced person be a pastor? Divorce has impacted the church in a big way for a long, long time.

Considering the current divorce rate in America, and the amount of divorced people in the church; this is by no means a small issue.

However, first let me say that how Christians respond to, think about, and treat those that are divorced is more crucial of an issue than where or where not divorced people can serve in the church. In my study I found that many divorced people have come to the church for support and encouragement, and instead found disapproval, bad attitudes, and hurtful conduct. This should not be the case. Church should be a place where we love and accept each other; a place where wounded people come and receive help and not immediate judgement.

In fact, as I worked on this topic, I encountered several divorced ladies who were extremely hurt that I was even asking questions about divorce. In all honesty, they were very offended and it took some time to calm them down. Their distress only proves that bad attitudes concerning divorced people are festering in churches, and before we even begin to tackle the issue of where or where not divorced people can serve, we must remind our brothers and sisters in Christ that our treatment of divorced people should be that of encouragement, love, mercy, and forgiveness. Nobody is perfect.

As mentioned in the previous post, some people will not agree with my conclusions here, and that's OK. But hopefully this dialogue will be helpful to all and be a proper examination of the issues.

Although there are many different arguments concerning this matter, I will discuss in brief the three biggest. Most of the arguments over divorce really center on a matter of interpretation of the biblical text. What I have done is stated the Conservative and Liberal views of each issue, and stated my opinion at the end.

FIRST ISSUE: 1 Tim 3:2, 12 - 'The overseer then must be above reproach, the husband of one wife,'. The phrasing in the Greek here is literally a 'one-woman-man'. So the problem becomes; what does Paul mean by the phrase 'one-woman-man'? Is he referring to a man being married one time, forever, that's it? Is he referring to polygamy, meaning one woman and not two or three? Does he mean one woman at a time?

The Liberal argument concerning this text would be that these verses are not directed to divorcees, but are addressing the problem of polygamy. Because of the wide range of possible interpretations of the “one woman man” it is important to view it in the context of other New Testament standards, for the selection of church leaders. Polygamy was a problem during the New Testament times (sort of a problem in some parts today too) .

The Conservative view argues that the position of the early church focused on giving full emphasis to the word “one” thus an overseer can only have been married once. Further, conservatives say that virtually all commentators agree that this phrase prohibits polygamy and promiscuity which are unthinkable for spiritual leaders in the church. This may include remarriage even after death of their spouse. Under these terms, the 'one woman man' is a man who is married, and that only once, forever and always.

SECOND ISSUE:
What are acceptable grounds for divorce? And is divorce always a sin?

The Conservative view (far far right) says that there are no acceptable grounds for divorce outside of marital infidelity, (Matt 5:31-32, 19:9) or denial of faith (I Cor. 7:12-16). Even then, they would say that holding the marriage together if at all possible would be the best way to go. However, sometimes that is not possible and in the case that your spouse cheated on you or denounced his/her faith, then one could divorce them.

The Liberal view (far far left) says that divorce for adultery or desertion in Matthew 5 & 19 and I Cor. 7 are not meant to be all inclusive criteria for a biblical divorce. There are many more allowable reasons to divorce and remarry. Some liberals have pointed out that it would be unreasonable to expect a list of all possible exceptions every time a rule is stated. In this case then, pretty much anything goes. Sure, God hates divorce, but this view would say, 'Life happens.' Divorce can't always be a sin if you can't always tell why it happened.

"Radical change in a person, situation, or relationship nullifies the original commitment … [divorce is justifiable when] another obligation comes into conflict with the first obligation and the second one is judged to override the first … what was once love is now seemingly irreversible bitterness and hatred, so that to remain together threatens utter destruction to the partners themselves and others.” -Margaret A Farley

ISSUE THREE: How should the church treat a divorced person wanting to serve (specifically as an elder)?

The Conservative view:
“Before a man can scripturally serve as an elder over larger of these two, the church, he must first have demonstrated his ruling ability over the smaller … if he scripturally divorces his first wife because of her unfaithfulness, he would still be the husband of one wife. However, he has failed in his first home thus I would have serious doubts about the wisdom of appointing him as an elder.”
-Margaret A Farley

I Tim 3:2, 12 prohibits any who have been divorced and remarried from becoming overseers the reasoning behind this view is usually that divorce represents a failure in the home so that even though a man may be forgiven for any sin involved he remains permanently disqualified for any leadership in the congregation.


The Liberal view:
"Radical change in a person, situation, or relationship nullifies the original commitment … [divorce is justifiable when] another obligation comes into conflict with the first obligation and the second one is judged to override the first … what was once love is now seemingly irreversible bitterness and hatred, so that to remain together threatens utter destruction to the partners themselves and others.” -Margaret A Farley

No scripture directly disqualifies a divorced person from serving in any capacity. There is no such thing as conditional forgiveness, a person should be restored to any service if repentant.. The church should respond in grace I Tim 1:15-16; I Cor. 15:9.


My Own Personal Thoughts:

1. There isn't a perfect black and white answer. Even while conservatives try to play it safe by saying 'divorced people should never serve as pastor or elder;' they potentially miss out on gifts that God has given to those divorced people they do not allow to serve. Divorce does not equal 'being unsaved' or 'unchosen by God.' So neither party is truly safe with their resolve.

2. 'One woman man' should absolutely be taken against polygamy. However, when it comes to 'one woman forever, that's it' I am not so sure. In the case of death of a spouse, God grants us the privilege to remarry. Those who do remarry are still the spouse of 'one woman'. In this sense I think it is a person actively in a marriage with one person, and not in any other inappropriate relationships.

“We believe that Paul was simply requiring that a man be above reproach morally, that he be a “one woman man”- which is a legitimate translation. In essence, he was to be loyal to one woman and one woman only, his present wife. “ - Gene Getz

3. For those churches who choose to have women as elders (or even pastors) I would say this passage still applies to woman; that they should be the wives of one husband in the same way as mentioned above. (I am not ruling in the question of women in leadership roles. That is for another time and I will not address it here).

4. In the end, I think divorced people, on the grounds that they had reasonable problems for the divorce (adultery, abuse, renounce of faith...) I think these people should be allowed to serve in the church as long as they are fulfilling all the other qualifications of elder (honesty, integrity, etc...).

While divorce is not part of God’s original plan it is current reality in churches today. Divorce, like other sins, need to be properly dealt with in grace and victims of divorce treated with compassion. If one wishes to serve as a church leader the Biblical guidelines focus upon evaluation of that person’s character.

5. Finally, for those of us in the church who are not divorced, praise God for that. Then, treat those who are as brothers and sisters in Christ, with all compassion and mercy. They are God's children too and are in no way separated or different from the rest.


Cheers to all.




Questions in the Chest

Several months ago I gave a group of people the opportunity to write down issues on 3 x 5 cards that they would like discussed from a biblical perspective. They didn't sign the cards so I don't know who asked them. I also didn't limit the topics of discussion, so you never know what to expect.

As I attempt to answer all of these questions, I must lay down some ground rules:

1. No answer will be complete or entirely satisfactory. Books have been written on most of these issues and I can't make a complete answer on a blog. My answers are merely for encouragement, understanding, and a push in the right direction.

2. I don't mind criticism, but having stated the previous, don't get on here and tell me that I didn't give you all the information. I know I didn't give you all the information.

3. If you do want more info, please comment and I will do my best to address whatever other questions you may have.

4. All blogs that come from the box will have 'Box: 001' and then the topic after them.

Enjoy

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Grace for the Day


I broke the law.

This does not surprise most of you. I was driving down the freeway when I looked about a 1/2 mile ahead and saw cars backing up like a clog in a drain. I happened to notice that the HOV lane of to the left was wide open though.

Since I had Cassie in the car I made a decision. I would jump into the HOV lane crossing BOTH solid white lines forbidding me to do so, and would skip the miles worth of traffic.

This would have been a great plan except for the cop car directly behind me whom I hadn't noticed. When I switched lanes, he switched lanes also.

And pulled up right behind my behind within a foot.

I could see him running my tags and Cassie was yelling at me and rebuking me and telling me where all my Christmas money was going. I was going to have to call me grand parents and let them know what a waste their money had to go to because I got a fat ticket and....

Sometimes wives can be overly compassionate.

But after another mile, the cop still hadn't pulled me over.

Huh.

Why not? I couldn't have been more in the wrong. The ticket would be a whopper. So what was his deal?

I started getting mad at him for prolonging my agony. This cop was taking his sweet time, rubbing it in, gloating at e and reminding me of the ticket I received on Christmas Eve Eve in 2001. Cops and Christmas.....I know who's been naughty and nice, and its the dude with the badge.

Anyway, after the HOV lane ended several miles later, the cop pulled up beside me, looked at us, and then drove on.

Amazing.

That is what I call grace right there. Although, now I can't be mad at cops anymore.....

Grace.

Kitty & the Visitor


Much to Cassie's surprise, she walked into our pantry/laundry room and discovered behind the cans of Prego, a lone mouse peeking out over the top. Cassie screamed, backed away quickly, and then did what any woman would do in that situation;

She called for our cat.

Our cat's name is Contessa, but I have never called her that. (It sounds like it came from Transylvania and the cat already has blood lust and I am fearful. I don't think she's a vampire....yet anyway.) So I don't ever call the cat by her name. Sometimes I call her, 'Mean Butt Cat' or 'the Little Bitty' and other such more appropriate names for the cat that are too disturbing to mention here (we have children readers and all).

I was really excited about this whole ordeal with the mouse and Cassie's screaming.

This was a chance for the cat to finally do something positive in my house. This was her chance to do something that would wipe her slate clean. The cat still has all of her vicious claws, the same claws that have pierced my flesh and bled me multiple times, and I was ready to see them split open the mouse.

I placed the Cat into the laundry room, went in there with it, and shut us in with the mouse. For a few moments all was quiet. Then, the mouse peeked it's head around Chloe's (my dog) kennel. The fight was on.

The cat flew across the room, the mouse shrieked in fear and ran, and for 30 solid seconds, I heard the most bizarre noises that I still don't know if they came from the cat or the mouse. I am hoping the noises came from the mouse because if the cat was making that high pitched chirping noise with gagging mixed in, we are getting rid of the cat because it must be demon possessed.

When the dust settled, the mouse was safe under the washing machine with the cat perched out front.

Mouse: 1 Cat: 0

Frustrated and needing to leave to get to Arlington, I locked the mouse and the cat in the room sealing the door before I left. The only way for the mouse to escape was to climb the washing machine, jump 2 feet to the water heater shelf, climb the water heater, and then climb the water heater pipe up into the ceiling, ten feet away from it's current position under the washing machine.

Cassie and I placed bets, and then left the house.....for 13 hours.

When we returned home Cassie fled to her bedroom and left me with the grizzly task to see the outcome of the bloody battle. Would I find the head? The tail? Blood smears all over the room? I didn't know. So I opened the door very carefully and looked inside.

There sat the little biddy, sleeping on a sweat shirt in the laundry basket. The mouse no where to be found.

Mouse: 2 Cat: 0

What the heck.


For centuries cats have been bred for their rodent catching capabilities. My brother-in-law's cat catches rodents, squirrels, chipmunks, & even birds, and his cat doesn't even have claws on it's front feet.

But no. I have to have the one cat in the country that somehow misses a mouse climbing ten feet up into the air with no cover of any type to hide behind. I have a dysfunctional cat.

And I want to return it but Cassie wont let me.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

What the Wind May Bring...


A lot is going to change in the next 5 months. I graduate Seminary in May. My first Child will be born in June. I am finishing several projects that have taken me months to sort out.

Since some of you may not know, I am working towards becoming a film director. This of course is no small feat. My advisor is Dr. Reg Grant. He is a truly amazing person, having connections in L.A., Hollywood, New York, and pretty much anywhere else in the film industry.

While there are a few opportunities available in Dallas involving TV shows and such, most filming is in L.A. and some in New York. Reg tells me to be ready because things will start opening up over the next five months and I may have opportunities to go work at any of the above locations.

While this scares me, having been born and raised with family here in the Dallas area, I am praying for direction and to be ready if something does pop up.

When Reg asked me, 'Can you move to California?' at first I didn't have an answer. He then asked, 'What connections do you have here now?'

As I thought about it I realized that over the last year, one by one, my connections to this place have been severed. I am no longer intricately involved with my church. School ends in May. Soccer ended a few months ago. We are in an apartment and our lease ends at the end of June. All that really remains is some friends and my family.

While I hate the idea of leaving family, I have been preparing for something for the last 8 years. The ship is stocked. Sails are ready. The crew (3 now) is prepared. Now, I guess I just wait for the destination.

Here's to what the wind blows in.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Are You in Good Hands?


In 2004, Allstate insurance company released a series of commercials staring Dennis Haysbert, also known as President Palmer from the TV show ‘24’. The marketing idea behind these commercials was that in desperate situations, rather than being out on your own, you would want someone like President Palmer looking out for you. Who wouldn't want to find President Palmer in your corner? Allstate was thrilled with the results of Haysbert’s deep resonant voice asking their new slogan, ‘Are you in good hands?’

Are you in good hands?

What if President Palmer wasn’t working for Allstate? What if he worked for God? And when he asked, ‘are you in good hands?’ he was asking you to trust God in your desperate situations rather than yourself? When the unexpected, sudden, and overwhelming situations occur, who’s hands would you choose to be in?

You know in desperate situations the natural tendency is to look out for oneself. In the dire moments, when your bills pile up with no way to pay them; when your child gets sick and you have to rush them to the emergency room, when your church community begins to collapse around you, when family relationships break down, when years go by and you and your spouse still aren’t pregnant; when the worst happens you will want to keep the control in your own two hands.

In Genesis 29:28-30:24. And in this section we find three people in desperate situations. Rather than trusting God, these three people will choose to trust themselves.

In this passage we find Jacob married to two women, Rachel and her sister Leah. Rachel was beautiful. Leah wasn't so much. Jacob wanted to marry Rachel, but got suckered into marrying both women by his decietful uncle.

Rachel just wants to have kids with the man she loves. But she is barren. Leah just wants Jacob to love her. But he doesn't.

People find themselves in desperate situations.

Many years ago my father was a budding architect. He passed all his tests, received his architecture license, scrapped out his first years in a variety of firms, and then God told him to start his own architecture company. My father looked around and saw his wife and four children in a 1000 square foot house. He saw bills piling up. His pay check stubs witnessed to him his alarming lack of funds. My family was eating bread and onion soup two and three times a week. My father saw that he was far from his ideal plan for our family.

In our passage, Jacob, Leah, and Rachel find themselves far from their ideal plans for their lives. Jacob was in a desperate situation. He wanted what God had promised him in chapter 28, land, descendants, and blessing. But Jacob finds himself having been deceived by his Uncle and married to two women, one of which he doesn’t love. To make matters worse, he has agreed with his Uncle to stick around and work for him another 7 years. Jacob wants to move on to the land that God has promised him, but he’s stuck here for 7 more years. He wants to be with his true love Rachel, but instead he also has to tend to her sister Leah.

Leah is in a desperate situation. She wants to be loved by her husband. But no husband has come for her in at least 7 years. No one has wanted her. While girlfriends in the area were getting married off one by one over the course of years, Leah is still alone. Leah is jealous of her younger sister who has found a great man, Jacob. And suddenly, Leah finds herself married to Jacob first. And her dreams of being loved by her husband are dashed as we find in verses 29:30-31, she was unloved.

Rachel finds herself in desperate situation. She wants to have children with the man she loves. But she finds herself to be barren. Her sister is also married to her husband, sleeping with him, and to make matters worse she keeps getting pregnant.


People find themselves in desperate situations. And in desperate situations, people most often trust in themselves.

Rather than begin his own practice, my father did what he thought was right for him. He took a job in San Antonio at a prestigious architecture firm there, leaving the rest of my family in Arlington. He thought this was the experience he needed to become the kind of architect he wanted to be. Plus the paycheck was good.

Jacob too trusts in himself. Unable to move on to the land God had promised him, wondering where God’s blessing was in his current situation, Jacob does the only thing he can do; works on having descendants. Throughout this passage Jacob is a baby-making machine. He is virtually silent in our section. We don’t see him praying to God. We don’t see him working on leading his family. We don’t see him question the wisdom of sleeping with the maids. We don’t see him concerning himself with the emotional feelings of his wives. In this desperate situation, when asked, ‘Are you in good hands?’ Jacob trusts his own two hands and does what he can to move forward, makes babies.

In this desperate situation Leah trusts her own two hands as well. Unloved and incapable of competing with her sister in looks, Leah tries to win Jacob’s love the only way she can. She bears him children. In 29:32 she bears Reuben, 33 Simeon, 34 Levi, 35 Judah, in 30:18 Issachar, 30:20 Zebulan, and a daughter Dinah. And although she repeatedly names these children with God honoring names, her true desire for having all of these children is found in the words before the name. In 29:32 she says, ‘now my husband will love me.’ In 33, she was unloved. In 34, she prays that now after three sons, Jacob will love her.’ By the sixth child in 30:20 she still says, ‘now my husband will dwell with me because I have given him 6 children.’ And in all this, Jacob never loves her the way she desires. She did what she could and trusted her own two hands.

Rachel trusted her own two hands. Finding herself barren, in 30:1 she becomes jealous of her sister and blames Jacob for her barrenness, ‘give me children or else I die.’ Then, after Jacob rebukes her, she makes a very rash decision and gives her maid to Jacob. She decides the children may not be physically hers, but she will take them anyway. She doesn’t question God in her situation. She doesn’t question how her maid may have felt about the arrangement. All she sees is her own hurt and jealousy and she does what she can and trusts her own two hands.


People in desperate situations most often trust themselves. And trusting in yourself rather than God has consequences.

My Father came back from San Antonio on weekends, sometimes every other week. He missed soccer games, birthdays, time with his family. My mom had a hard time raising four kids by herself. It became quickly apparent to my Father that trusting in his own hands for what was best for him had been a big mistake.

Jacob had similar consequences. In his selfishness, he missed the opportunity to be a strong spiritual and family leader. His family had dysfunctional relationships sprouting up and because he was so self absorbed he didn’t see them or stop them.

Leah missed out on the blessing of having children, because she was so focused on the child’s failure to get her husband to love her. Child after child failed to bring her what she wanted. To the point where she uses her oldest, Reuben, to get another chance to win her husband in 30:14-15.

Rachel only makes the situation worse when she gives Jacob her maid because Leah does the same thing with her maid. She lets her jealousy and bitterness escalate to the point, when God finally blesses her with a child in 30:24, the first thing out of her mouth is ‘may the Lord give me another son.’ She can’t stop competing. She can’t even be grateful for the miracle she was given.

In the end, the dysfunction of all three of them results in the dysfunctional relationships in the family that begin the whole story of Joseph and the coat of many colors. Trusting in ourselves in desperate situations has consequences.

So how do we respond to this? We trust God. In desperate situations, we should trust God rather than ourselves.

First of all, God has a plan. God had a plan for Jacob, Rachel, and Leah. Ultimately through this mess, God still blessed them in that the children make up the twelve tribes of Israel. By the time Jacob meets up with Esau a few chapter later Jacob is wealthier than he could have imagined becoming.

Secondly, God keeps his promises. Jacob received descendants. Promise kept. He was greatly blessed with family and wealth. He lived a long full life. Another promise kept. His descendants don’t walk into the promised land until some time later, but God keeps that promise as well.

Finally, if we are trusting in ourselves rather than God, we become blind to the blessings of God. God was actively working in these people’s lives but rather than praising God for these blessings, they were too consumed with selfishness to see the great things God was doing.

God has a plan. God keeps his promises. And we don’t want to miss out on God’s blessings in our lives.

After 6 months in San Antonio, my father quit his job and returned home. He decided that in spite of conventional wisdom, despite his natural tendencies, he was going to trust God rather than himself. He began an architecture company in our basement. For the first couple of years we barely got by, but all the bills got paid. He attended my soccer games. We had food on the table. My mother wasn’t alone. While other opportunities arose at other companies my father continued to trust God rather than himself. He trusted that God had a plan, and he didn’t want to miss what God was doing.

Today, he is the CEO of his own multimillion dollar architecture company. He is licensed in numerous states and has won multiple design awards. When President Palmer asks my dad, ‘are you in good hands?’ my father would say without a doubt, ‘yes.’

What desperate situation are you going through? The temptation for you today is to handle it yourself. To find your own way out. To trust your own two hands. But let me encourage you, when you sit on your couch at home, and President Palmer appears on the TV asking you, ‘are you in good hands?’; let that be a reminder to you today that in your desperate situations, trust God rather than yourself.

Cheers

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Found Dead in the Parking Lot


I had to preach to my seminary class again today.

It probably wouldn't have been so bad if I had gotten a little sleep last night. I went to bed fairly late because I was practicing the sermon (no notes allowed). But when I finally went to sleep my wife practiced swimming laps on her side of the bed. Either that or she was doing yoga.

Every 5 minutes she would steal the covers, roll away from me, roll toward me, make strange noises, get up and walk somewhere, come back to bed...

When my alarm went off this morning I felt like a corpse getting up to turn it off.

I don't even need to watch the video of my sermon to know that I looked like some sad drunk this morning behind the pulpit. Some of my classmates probably thought I was hungover. And maybe on drugs too.

I memorized my words OK and I got through the ordeal. But then I left the class and crashed in my car for about an hour. My car is tiny and it is impossible to find any good sleeping position in the little convertible. So I crunched myself in there and slept the best I could.

I awoke in the parking lot of La Madeline to the sound of little old knuckles knocking on my car window. Apparently, this elderly lady parked next to my car and when she got out of her car she noticed me folded around my clutch and was worried.

I think she thought I was dead because she gasped when I jerked awake. Relieved that I wasn't dead, we both went into the store for coffee; her with her friend and me to my private table. I caught her taking her heart medication with her coffee. I didn't know you could do that.

Well, I gotta return to another class now. I give the class a good 17 minutes before I fall asleep on the table. I hope my professor wont get too offended.

Monday, December 10, 2007

No Country for Old Men


I had been anticipating this movie's release for several months. After reading several articles about the cinematography in the movie, the plot line, and the actors involved; I was sure it was going to be a good movie.

But that is what I was thinking about Miami Vice before it came out. Being a Michael Mann fan, I was ready for Jamie Foxx to score big in Miami Vice. But after paying $18 to see it (went with Cassie), Michael Mann's horrible movie was a complete bust and I was angry that I had anticipated it so highly. We walked out of that movie after 30 minutes.

All that to say, I was hoping that this movie would be good and not let me down.

The movie was very good. Very little language. No sex stuff. Violent.

The movie is really a study on human nature. The good in people. The bad in people. The greedy nature of man. I wouldn't be the least surprised to find out that the Coen brothers (directors) read Hebrew. The movie is poetic.

When the last scene ended, a lot of people in the theater where like, 'What? It ends like that? What does that mean?' But that is because people are so used to Vin Diesel or Bruce Willis shooting people for 2 hours and a happy ending. This movie has more than one layer.

This movie is much more about truth and reality.

A hint for those who choose to see it:
A cop can be a cop for 50 years, and on the day he retires, the world wont look any better than the day he started. And in many ways, the world can even look worse. Evil never dies.

Maybe it is just my creative side that resonated with this movie so much. I don't know. But I thoroughly enjoyed it. Cinematography is great. There is no real music in the film which adds a sense of suspense and eeriness about it. The bad guy, Javier Bardem, is one bad son of a gun. His eyes are wonderfully creepy.

Plus, growing up in Texas, I can vouch that they portrayed west Texas well. Especially west Texas in the 80's.

Two thumbs up.

Parental Caution Advised.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Digging Wells


If you are following after God, it is only a matter of time before you face opposition. It is almost always inevitable.

I have been studying the stories of Jacob and Isaac in Genesis lately. While I have been wrestling with several passages on my own, I heard a friend of mine preach on one of these passages and he did a great job at conveying exactly what I was trying to describe on this issue. I took some notes from this friend (Bill Gresette) as he gave the sermon and I wanted to pass them along to you. I Hope that they will impact you in the same way they impacted me.

In Genesis 26 we find part of the story of Isaac. At this time, there was a great famine in the land (probably somewhere northeast of Egypt). So during this famine Isaac went down to the land of the Philistines, to the area called Gerar, which belonged to the kingdom of Abimelech. The famine was severe, even in Gerar, and Isaac probably considered going down to Egypt where the famine was not so severe.

But then God told Isaac, 'Do not go down to Egypt; stay in the land of which I shall tell you.'

Isaac obeyed and set up shop in Gerar. He started a farm and in the very 1st season he reaped 100 fold. This was probably unheard of during this time, especially during a famine. Isaac's fields went crazy in producing fruit. This made Isaac very wealthy, and he continued to grow even wealthier the longer he stayed there.

But then, the people in the land of Gerar, after seeing how wealthy Isaac was becoming, grew jealous. And in their jealousy they decided to push Isaac out of the community. They went and covered up all of Isaac's wells, completely filling them with dirt.

A well was no easy thing to dig. Often, wells were 60 to 70 feet deep, about five feet around. It would take the minimum of three men to dig a well, and then it would take a significant amount of time to dig it. The first five feet weren't so bad. Bad after that, the men who were digging could no longer see horizon. They were stuck in a hole 5 feet across filling bucket after bucket with dirt. Dirt caking on to their sweaty bodies. Mush.

Digging a well was not a fun job.

Also, by filling the wells, the Philistines cut off Isaac's water supply. No water - no crops. No crops- no food. No food - bye bye Isaac. To make matters worse, King Abimelech even took the time to go see Isaac and said to him, 'Go away from us, for you are too powerful for us.'

Now Isaac, facing this opposition probably felt the urge to leave. After all, the people hated him, the King personally asked him to leave. I'm sure the King said, 'Isaac it's not personal. But we gotta do what we gotta do.' Being there was probably not the best idea on Isaac's list of ideas.

But on the other hand, Isaac knew that God had told him to stay in that land.

So Isaac picked up his camp, moved one or two miles closer to the valley of Gerar and started all over. Of course, Isaac had to know that moving a couple stone throws away was probably not going to make the people or King Abimelech happy. But it would be better to make them unhappy than to disobey God right?

And Isaac set about again digging wells. He dug several more wells, started the farm again, and all went well. For about five minutes.

No sooner were the wells dug, than the Philistine herdsmen seized the wells saying, 'The water is ours!' They pretty much commandeered Isaac's water supply. Perhaps they thought Isaac was horrible at nonverbal communication. So this time they thought for sure Isaac would leave their land. Take the water - prevent the food - bye bye Isaac.

Isaac scooted a little bit over and dug another well. The man just wouldn't take the hint. The Philistines, frustrated with Isaac, went and seized that well too. Take the water - stop the food - bye bye Isaac.

Isaac dug another well.

But this time the Philistines were tired of dealing with him and they left Isaac alone. If the man is just going to keep digging wells, why bother seizing them over and over? Pretty soon, the desert was going to look like a mini-golf course.

After the opposition died down, two things happened. The first is that God came again to Isaac and told him that the promises of blessing, land, and descendants God had given to Isaac's father, Abraham, would also be bestowed upon Isaac as well. Upon hearing this good news, Isaac did what he did best.

He dug another well. And by this well Isaac built an alter to the Lord, a place where he could praise and worship God.

The second thing that happened was that King Abimelech paid Isaac another visit. Only this time, the meeting went a little differently.

Isaac: 'Why have you come to me, since you hate me, and have sent me away from you?'

King Abimelech: 'We see plainly that the Lord has been with you; so we said, Let there now be an oath between us, even between you and us, and let us make a covenant with you that you will do us no harm.'

That must have been a good day to be Isaac.

Whenever you are obedient to God and seeking after him, you are going to face opposition. There are three things to learn from this.

1. Stand Fast. Isaac stayed in the land doing what God had told him to do despite the opposition. He trusted God. He didn't run.

2. Keep Digging. Isaac didn't run away when the filled and seized his wells. He kept digging new ones. He didn't seek retribution or vengeance. But he trusted God and kept digging.

3. Always Trust in God's provision. Isaac didn't doubt here but kept right on doing what he knew to do. The temptation would have been to doubt God's calling. To doubt that God had a plan. But even in the end of the story, the King himself could see God working through Isaac.


Keep digging people. There's a long way to go before we hit the water table.

Cheers




God's Will Strikes Again


I went to check my mailbox at school today and found two girls standing directly in front of it. I thought my mere presence alone would send the message that they needed to move. But no. They ignored my existence. (Which is fairly, and sadly, typical.)

So I said, 'Excuse me' and went about my business getting my mail.

They didn't really move, but continued to stand there chatting in front of my box. So I squatted down, like a chicken or some other fowl, and waddled between the two who continued speaking over my head. In this somewhat awkward position I couldn't help but hear their conversation.

Apparently one of the girls had been dumped by 'seminary guy.' His reasoning for dumping her was:

'I hope you understand. God has called me to spend time with him and really focus on him and his will for my life right now. Between God and school, I can't maintain a proper relationship with (seminary girl)' for the time being. If God brings us back together in the future than that will be a great blessing.'

"Seminary girl' was all torn up. She was trying to trust God through the situation and she really respected the guy for putting God first and all.....

Another girl bites the dust.

The number one cause of breakups at seminaries and Christian college campuses is God's will. Nothing destroys cupid like God's will does.

I truly felt sorry for the girl. And had her feet not been touching me and she not continued to ignore my presence below her, I may have told her what really happened. Not wanting to stand up too suddenly and hit her in the face with my shoulder, I crouch walked in reverse, away from the two girls, and left the building.

I even looked back once, considering telling her the truth about 'seminary guy.' But I didn't.

She got dumped. Plain and simple. And the guy wasn't man enough to tell her the truth. But intending to let her down easy decided to cover his supreme lameness by muddling up God's will. Geez.

Men.

You can't live with them. Can't have babies without them.

Monday, December 3, 2007

Community Done


In June I shot my first independant film. We finished post-production a few weeks ago. The project was called 'Community'.

Basically, we (Matt and I) wanted to create a resource for churches to use in teaching and small group settings. This project focused on the concept of Christian community, and how that community can break down or fall apart.

For a community to work, there must be trust, love for one another, and respect. You can't have a community where people don't get along with people, where one person hurts another just because they don't understand each other.

Everybody knows people that annoy them. Everybody has 'that person' that rubs them the wrong way. But communities are always filled up with people who are not like you.

Anyway, the project is done and is now being used as a concept model for this type of resource. We are hoping that a publishing company may pick it up and allow us to film bigger and better ones.

The picture at the top is a frame from the video of a car that we set on fire in Community. It was the hardest thing I have ever done as far as film making goes. This picture cannot describe how much work and effort it took to make it possible. So for that reason, it is a crown jewel to me.

Hopefully, I can have the video available on my website soon.

Cheers.

Car Wash Cigars


So today, I cleaned my house. I started with my office and slowly worked my way out. Dishes, laundry, patio. Eventually I went and washed my car by hand at the little 'car-washing-area' at my apartment complex.

Cassie was sick most of the day. Slept a lot. A whole lot. Most of the day in fact.

So I had a lot of time to think. It was really nice outside today for December. 78 degrees for the high. I went on a walk with my dog. Ran a couple of errands. And continued to think about things.

Life can be extremely frustrating. Sometimes it feels like a constant battle. Like you are hitting the wall again and again, and you can't seem to break it down.

This year in fact has been the hardest year of my life, both emotional and physical. This summer I struggled with my first bout of serious depression. I have never been depressed before. Before, whenever I heard someone say they were depressed, I thought to myself, 'Why can't they just snap out of it? It's no big deal. Get over and move on.'

But now I know what depression is. It's not wanting to do anything. It's laying on the floor for an hour staring underneath the couch with no desire to get up or do anything. Its atmospheric weight bearing down upon you.

I struggled with my weight. I still struggle with it. I hit the gym several times a week and so far haven't seen any great results.

I got kicked off my soccer team this last summer because the team captain had different ideas about what he wanted in a team. He told me he held a team meeting without me and the team decided to kick me off. He said not to take it personally. Later, I was told by other teammates that no meeting was ever held.
I could start another team I suppose but everyone else I know that plays is on that team. Plus, I am so busy I feel inadequate to really start one.

When Cassie and I moved here in 04' we had so many ideas and plans about what we would accomplish during my time in seminary. We were way off with how we thought it would be. Cassie had a boss who was entirely unethical, mean, slanderous, and abusive. She kept the job for a year and a half. Came home and cried everyday. Everyday.

My seminary degree requires 120 hours. I am finishing it in 3 and a half years. I have held a job the entire time. Sometimes two jobs, and at one point, three on top of it.

We felt like we were grounded here. Like God had a plan for us here. But now, as May is approaching and I will be done with Seminary forever (praise Jesus), I have noticed that almost all ties that we had to here are gone. What does this mean?

I saw some kids out playing as I washed my car. And more kids at the park when I took the garbage to the dumpster. Cassie's pregnant so every time I see little kids running around, I have a whole new vision for things. Kids fall a lot apparently.

My best friend Tim moved to California several years ago. We sorta lost touch. We speak every now and then. Out of all the people in my life (save my wife) he knows me the best. We weren't always there for each other, and we had our problems back and forth. He's the type of friend who can look in my eyes and read my thoughts. We have had entire conversations without ever saying a word. Every weekend, we used to sneak up on top of a public pool building with 20 oz cokes and a couple cigars and talk until 4 or 5 in the morning. We did this for several years. I haven't had anyone like that since he left.

Right before he took off to the west coast he had some girlfriend issues. At the time, I was having girlfriend issues of my own (which turned out really stupid, regretted, and laborious). When I should have been there for him, I was too busy doing dumb stuff and getting into trouble to really catch him. Both girlfriends fell apart at approximately the same time. While in the haze, he left and I moved to college.

So today, as I spent the day mostly alone with my thoughts, and as I wished I had someone to talk to, I was really sad that he isn't around. I haven't smoked a cigar in a while. I never really liked the cigars. I don't know why we started doing them.
But I wouldn't have minded one today.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Seven Boys


One more cigarette on top of the pool house
Before leaving here, leaving Amanda, Velvet, leaving me
Baggy pants, shag face, hint of fabric softener
One magnetized to California as a second savior, to follow the dream.

One alone, left to sleep, hand in hand with computer keys
No ambition but a decayed town in Northern Oklahoma
Longing for Velvet, for security, for laughter in his sleep
One found another to dominate and return home, never graduate.

One drank coffee to Smashing Pumpkins
Pre-Med philosopher reading Ayn Rand and writing poetry
Longing for Velvet, finding card-board and the simple-minded
One held captive by school loans and the search for residency.

One drank Dos XX and dollar-store rap
Pre-Med cutting frogs, the linger of ammonia and disinfectant
Found Velvet, moved in with a ring and well-placed promises
One in love with Tool, the warmth of Velvet, and Dos XX.

One dreamed of suburbs and stability
Morally virtuous with everything except fast cars
Traded Velvet for Velvet, but found cotton at fifteen that stuck
One remaining constant within three miles of beginning.

One dwelled in unknown lands never mapped
Playing Frisbee golf, swords, and learned to capture a story
Longed for Velvet, but found silk of class and perfection
One dreaming the creation of worlds and working his way up.

One dripped ambition, coffee, learning to create
Living for something after, trying new things, learning to dance
Longed for Velvet, found 700 count lace with the strength of nails
One living at 24 frames a second, holding hands.

Seven boys scattered across a nation
Waiting for paths to cross again.

Chason Laing 6.6.2007.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Why Doesn't God Heal Amputees?


So this guy asked me quite frankly (in a confrontational manner) if I believed in God, and more specifically, Jesus as God.

I told him I did.

He asked me if I believed that God performed miracles, and more specifically does God perform miracles even today. I told him yes, I believe God has and continues to perform miracles, even to today. He asks if I believe that God loves people, and that God is love. I agree. He then asked me his most profound question:

Why doesn't God heal amputees?

At this point, I stopped and analyzed the situation and the question. While I was doing this, the guy began (in a laughing manner) berating me because I believed such an ignorant set of beliefs. As it turns out, the guy is an atheist. He calls me stupid. Calls my God stupid. Calls anyone believing that God performs miracles stupid. He says that if God is so loving why doesn't he heal the peg-legged amputees. He says surely I wouldn't believe such bunk when so clearly God doesn't love the amputees and therefore God doesn't love me or him either.

He then tries to convert me.

***on a side note: Don't try to convert someone after you have just called him 'stupid'.***

I then opened my mouth and this is what followed.

'Well, why not go further than that? Why doesn't God heal the AIDS epidemic? Why doesn't God stop divorces from happening? Why doesn't God help all the poor abused peoples in Darfur? Why does God allow car accidents? Why is cancer spreading across the world? Why do some kids suddenly stop breathing when their parents take them home from the hospital after being born? Why doesn't God stop the war in Iraq? Why does God allow freak terrorists to fly commercial aircraft into buildings killing thousands of my brothers and sisters? Why doesn't God stop death?'

(Pause for side note: I am not making light of amputees in any shape or form. I wish I could give amputees back their limbs as much as they do. What I am doing here is taking an argument to a logical conclusion.)

'What would tie God's hands so-to-speak that would prevent him from doing all these things?'

He answered that God's hands were tied because God didn't exist. I said, 'My sister always threatens to punch me in the face. If she punched you in the face would you like it?'

Of course he wouldn't like it.

'Why not?' I asked. He says that it would be wrong. That she has no right to punch him in the face.

I asked him who decides what's right and wrong. He says the general public does for the sake of the people. I ask him why we needed such rules for the general public. He says because people aren't perfect and these rules help people behave well, for the benefit of all.

So I ask, 'So no ones perfect.' He agrees.

Then I open my mouth and this follows:

'What if I made cookie dough for you. Your favorite kind (chocolate chip). And I mixed it all in a big bowl. Now, it is a nice day outside and I left the window open in the kitchen and while my back is turned a New York pigeon flies into the kitchen and poops right into the cookie dough. I shoo the bird back outside and then do my best to scrape the bird crap out of the cookie dough bowl the best I can. Then I mix up the dough, bake some cookies, and bring the dough to you. Would you eat the cookies?

He says he most absolutely would not eat the cookies.

I ask why not. He says because the crap may have seeped into the dough. I tell him I got most of the crap out of the dough and if any was left in the dough, it would be the tiniest amount. He doesn't care. He still wont eat the cookies. He would throw the batch away and start over. He says the cookies are now tainted.

Tainted.

So I say, 'What if God wanted perfect people. But no perfect people existed. Instead, he has a bunch of tainted people running around, killing each other, lying, stealing, blowing peoples legs off. Now if I were God by your actions, I would throw the whole batch away. But that would mean that you and I are toast. Right here, right now. We are crispy. Tainted.'

I pause for a moment, waiting for God to smoke us. Then, after God hasn't smoked us for a couple seconds, I say:

'But we aren't toast. You and I are still here. Which means God is relenting. Why? Because if he does he would have to throw us away. But if he relents, then bad things are going to happen because we are an imperfect people doing wicked things in a wicked world.

So while we're here, people are going to die in wars. Thugs are going to take over countries. Cancer will continue to spread. AIDS wont go away. Politicians will continue to lie and mislead. You will catch the flu. There are consequences for evil. And God's inaction, God's allowing these horrible things to continue, is a sign of love. Not that he loves the evil things that are going on. But that he is not frying this whole place because he loves us enough to give us the chance to turn to him.

And when God does perform a miracle, when the Doctors go in to perform surgery and they find that the cancer isn't there, and they have no idea why; this is God acting in this wicked world, making it easier to live here, showing people that he does love them despite their wickedness.

When we feel like God isn't performing enough miracles, when we feel like God could act and should act, but then God doesn't; it's not because he doesn't exist.

***this has only been about 1/5 the actual conversation. But I can't type everything down, it gets too long. I know this isn't a perfectly designed and presented argument. But I think it gets down to the point. People want God to do amazing miracles, things that they can see, in order to believe in God. This attitude has been present since the beginning of creation. ***

To conclude....I recently heard that scientists are calling the planet Jupiter 'Earth's Angel & Protector.' They are calling Jupiter this because apparently, Jupiter is so big, and has such a large gravitational pull, that most comets and large asteroids that would in fact hit Earth, are stopped by Jupiter, sucked into Jupiter's atmosphere like a magnet. If Jupiter wasn't exactly where it is, wasn't as big as it is, didn't have the gravitational field as strong as it does; Earth would probably be pelleted by asteroids and meteors - some big enough to destroy whole cities.

While some believe this is a coincidence, I choose to believe it is by design.

Hasn't God done enough?

Monday, November 26, 2007

One for Two...


Have you ever found yourself in a seriously dysfunctional sad situation? Perhaps a situation you didn't see coming? It sort of snuck up on you through the thicket and pounced?

What do you do once you're in it?

Everybody wants an ideal situation. A good job with good pay and vacation days. A healthy family. A nice place to live with good food on the table. Good friends and family relationships.

But eventually (and inevitably) something comes up out of no where to ruin the good thing. A new family dynamic perhaps. A loss of a friend or a job. Fill in the blank.

I'll tell you about a crappy situation.

Jacob meets the girl of his dreams, Rachel. He works for said girl for 7 years and then on his wedding night, after drinking perhaps too much, he finds himself in bed with the girl of his dreams sister, Leah. Why? Because the girls father Laban pulled a fast one on Jacob. Apparently the customs didn't allow for the younger daughter to be married to the older.

When in bed in the night
and the soft touch doesn't feel right
stupid man turn on the light.

Anyways, so Jacob agrees to marry both the sisters (the year is 2000 BC so don't freak out). The catch is that he has to work another 7 years.

For Jacob this has to stink. Instead of one, he got two. And one isn't all that cute. He doesn't love her at all. And Rachel, he can't even get nearly enough time with her because he's always working or tending to her sisters needs.

We will leave Jacob for a moment off on a stool behind his tent frustrated and angry.

Rachel meets the man of her dreams, Jacob. Jacob works for her for 7 years. During this time they have gotten to know each other a little. He is strong and handsome and makes her laugh. Then, the night of her wedding, her father pulls her aside and sends Leah into Jacob's tent.

What the heck?

Your sister gets to sleep with your man! Oh no she didn't!

But yup, she did. Not only that, but now your father has agreed with Jacob to marry your sister also. So much for one on one time with your husband. So much for getting away from family. So much for togetherness. Kiss it goodbye sweetheart.

We will leave Rachel pouting upon the used bedsheets for a moment.

Leah has watched her sister and Jacob flirting for 7 years. She is already jealous because she is the oldest and should be married first. BUT NO. Her stupid younger sister found the guy first. Over the last 7 years no one has come to marry her. She develops self esteem issues. Then, on her sister's wedding night, her father sends her into Jacob's tent secretly in hopes he can get Jacob to marry both of them. She goes in, Jacob comes in a little tipsy, and the deed is done. But then Jacob finds out, Rachel finds out, and they are a little angry. Leah finds herself a wife in a household with her sister and a man who totally doesn't love her.

So Leah thinks that if she can have a kid with Jacob, maybe Jacob will love her. So she has 6 kids with Jacob. Guess what. Jacob still doesn't really love her.

Lets leave Leah here tending to the little ones while we return to Rachel.

Rachel finds herself barren. Her stupid sister has child after child. But Rachel can't get pregnant. She becomes super jealous and angry. She fights with Jacob and blames him for her barrenness. Her rebukes her and leaves. After being angry and bitter for years Rachel finally gets pregnant. But no sooner does she have her child then she immediately wishes for another.

Three people totally screwed up. An emotional nightmare.

Oh. Yeah, this story takes place in Gen 29:28- 30:24.

I'll talk more about this later, but it is comforting in the midst of serious struggle and frustration with God to remind myself that others have had it worse and that God still works.

(more later)

3:10 to Yuma


I went and saw 3:10 to Yuma tonight. I haven't seen a good western since Tombstone. This one had it going from the beginning with Russell Crowe and Christian Bale. Bruce Wayne and Maximus in the same movie. Good times.

The plot is simple and good. Dan (Bale) has to get the criminal Ben Wade (Crowe) on board a train to jail before Wade's gang catches up to him. A lot of good wholesome action takes place along the way. Plenty of six-shooter fun. A robbery. Indians. Horse chases. Plenty of money shots.

Although there is some language (sometimes very funny language), there isn't any nudity, very little gore, and I can't remember any suggestive material. It is rated R, and I would suggest parental supervision. But overall, I give it 4 stars.

Guitar Hero Aftermath


I think I may have broken my thumb. I was playing 'Psychobilly Freak Out' on hard and when I was done, I noticed that the bones in my thumb hurt every time I bent them. So while on the one hand, I totally rocked Billy's face off; on the other, I can't use my thumb to type and I keep typing things like: tats owtis wole ting wety down.

On another note:

Life is a lot like Guitar Hero. Sometimes its harder than expected. Sometimes its easier. Sometimes you hit every note right when you need to, and other times you miss a whole bunch and your score goes down. Rarely in life do you get to plan really far ahead, and then you have little time to prepare as the notes are coming toward you. And hopefully you picked a good song to play to begin with.

Sometimes Black Sabbath happens.

On another note:

Cassie has banned me from buying Guitar Hero.

It rocks here no more.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Saving the World One G-String at a Time


I did something really stupid people. I am saddened that you aren't shocked by this, but that you continued reading this like 'that's nothing new.'

I played Guitar Hero.
Or to say it better....I rocked Guitar Hero.

In truth, I played the Rock Band drums the other night at Walmart, and while I felt dumb doing this in the middle of the store, I also had the heck of a good time. But I vowed neevr to bring it into my house or become 'one of those people.'
I play guitar. Like, the real guitar - six strings and a pickup, hand me a strap and lets play Van Halen (I can't yet play Van Halen but I am working at it). So I never thought I would even remotely like the Guitar Hero game. It's like playing a snowboarding game when you live in Colorado and you could actually be snowboarding. Get your butt outside and down the hill with you. And your little dog too.

But then, as if God ordained it, my brother in law had the game and wanted to play. At first, I was skeptical. He looked like a total goob wearing that little plastic guitar that he had covered with weird stickers. He reminded me of those air guitar competitions that I made fun of last month while watching those sad people perform on TV.

But then it was my turn. And I found a Stone Temple Pilots song that I love.
Oh no.

The buttons began to feel natural against my finger tips. The whammy bar began calling my name. I breathed smoke. And suddenly, I became the Lord of Rock. (By Lord, I mean master - not God. I am not God or a God or the God. Let us not become egotistical).

You know how crack heads begin to do really stupid things in order to raise money for their addiction? Well.....

Don't be surprised if I invite you over to slay the rock crowds of the world who are calling my name and raising lighters as a general toast to my mad guitar button-pushing skills.

I may have to get a tattoo. Of a demon breathing fire with large fangs.

I would continue this post further but the Rolling Stones are calling my name.

I am coming Mr. Big Lips. I am coming.

Cheers.

Saving Private Ryan


So Tom Hanks finally stumbles across Private James Ryan of Iowa (also known as Jason Bourne) and the unexpected happens. Ryan doesn't want to go home.

Ryan decides that he has two options. One: He goes with Tom Hanks and the others, they return home to Hollywood, and Tom Sizemore doesn't have to die. However, if he does leave, his friends that are stuck defending that broken down city are now one more man short. And most of them are going to die before the P51's get there.

Option Two: Ryan stays and fights with his friends in the crappy broken down city. Tom Hanks then sees it as his responsibility to protect Ryan and fulfill his duty. In the process, Tom Hanks, Tom Sizemore and all but one of the others die protecting Ryan. However, the bridge is saved and the P51's show up, and not only do we have a movie, but also the most famous line,

'Earn this.'

Ryan's two options are really:
1. Obey orders and return home for the sake of your mother.
2. Do the honorable thing by staying with your friends.

Either way he is in between a rock and a hard place.

We all know what happens. Steven Spielberg's movie was viewed millions and millions of times. One of the more amazing movies to watch of our time. So intense that to this day there is still one scene that I cannot bring myself to watch.

But had Ryan gone home, Tom Hanks could have lived to see his wife. Tom Sizemore could have continued his dirt collection back in the good ol USA. The Jewish guy could have gone home and become a Hebrew scholar. The sniper could have become a pastor.

Decisions have consequences.

Choose wisely.

Happy Thanksgiving


I wanted to wish you all a great Thanksgiving. May you eat turkey and gravy and rolls and sweet potatoes and ham and cranberry pie until you get sick and collapse onto the couch in triumph.

We have many things to be grateful for. Even though storms can be rolling around your life wreaking havoc upon your otherwise normality's; when we stop and think for a moment - there are endless things to be thankful for today.

This wonderful Country.
Family.
The nice 37 degree day outside.
That we lived to see another season.
That so far, all of my friends who have had babies have had healthy ones.
For your spouse, and another year together.
For the blessings and struggles of new business.
For the heater that works inside.
For fun times playing guitar hero.
For good music.
For uncles and aunts serving the Lord in Ohio.
For grandparents who are healthy and feeling well. (Who will soon be great-grandparents).
For a cousin flying for Southwest.
For a dog who is almost five and her excitement she brings to my home.
For the love / hate relationship with my cat.
For my Dad's business that is still going stronger than ever.
For the fact that I only have one semester left in seminary.
For the fact I haven't lost my hair yet.

For a wife who wakes me up at 5 am to tell me she loves me.


May your Thanksgiving be blessed and your baskets overflow.

Cheers.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

King Spencer on the Road to Thotwel


Continued from 'King Spencer Evacuates Eklo'.

The road was hot, dirty, with little grass along the way. King Spencer trudged along kicking up dust. Hours went by and pretty soon Eklo faded into the distance behind him. Mountains surrounded the road on either side, cresting skyward making Spencer feel small.
The road was empty and dirty. It hadn't been kept up. Its broken down appearance reminded Spencer of his home.

As Spencer rounded a bend he saw a lone person far out in front of him. Spencer picked up his pace. After several more minutes Spencer caught up with the person and discovered it was Lionna the Griffin.

'Lionna!' Spencer cried. 'It is so nice to see you here! I've been alone for hours! What are you doing here?'

Lionna shrugged a little. 'Well, I don't really know. I am going somewhere, but I don't know where. I guess I am going to where I will be.'

Confused by her answer Spencer asked, 'Why are you going to somewhere if you don't know where you are going? Why not go home?'

Lionna's gaze dropped to her feet before she said, 'I don't have a home anymore.'

'What?' Spencer asked. 'What do you mean you don't have a home?'
Spencer pointed towards the south. 'Helenschmidt is back that way.'
Helenschmidt was a small city on the outskirts of the land. Due to it's altitude, moisture, and greenery, most Griffins preferred to live there because of the wide variety of places to land and the cloudy scenery.

'Helenschmidt is gone.' Lionna answered.


'What do you mean it's gone?' said Spencer.

'Well,' Lionna began. 'A few months ago, there was a town meeting to discuss which music to play at the Harvest festival. In the past, we have always played 'The flight of the Tannens' in D minor. It's a very pretty song and always brings a tear to my eye when the children sing the last verse. But then, Murry the Hippo came to visit and he said...'

'Murry the Hippo came to visit you too!' Spencer asked.

'Yes. Why?' Lionna asked.

'He came to Eklo too.' Spencer said.

'Oh. Murry said that there was better music that could be played at our Harvest festival. He said the 'The Flight of the Tannens' was too old and that D minor is the sadest of keys. He said that in Thotwel, they played new music, better music. He said that the new music was more appropriate for today's citizens; that staying current and contemporary would keep the tradition of the festival going without feeling old.'
'Current. Contemporary. Practical.' Murry had said over and over.'

Lionna walked over to the side of the road and sat down. Spencer joined her.

'So at the festival, instead of singing 'The Flight of the Tannens', Murry sang one of the 'new' songs. After the festival there was a big argument because some people really liked the new song and others didn't like it. The conversation became an argument. Then the argument became heated with citizens choosing sides and saying harsh things. Eventually, the city was split into two groups; the 'Practicals' versus the 'Hangers'.

Practicals didn't speak to Hangers - Hangers didn't speak to Practicals. Families were split in two. Business shut down. The Orphanage closed down because the staff was in perpetual arguments over the music issue and they couldn't get along. Vandals began spray painting 'Closet Hangers' or 'Impracticals' along walls and buildings.

The arguments became so strong that the City Council decided the only solution was to abandon the city before total violence broke out. Murry led the 'Practicals' to the city of Thotwel because he said they used the newer type of music there. The Hangers scattered as well to the smaller cities in the country.'

Lionna sighted. 'As for me, I can't decide where I want to go. I don't want to go anywhere. I liked it in Helenschmidt. That was my home. I feel homeless now.'

Lionna began crying. Spencer put his arm around her shoulder.

'Look,' said Spencer, 'I am headed to Thotwel to see what all the to-do is about. My city shut down too shortly after Murry visited. I don't know what I think about that guy. Anyway, why don't you come with me. I don't like traveling by myself and I think it would be a good thing for us to find out the truth about what's going on in Thotwel. If it is as great as Murry made it sound, then maybe we can go back to our cities and start them all over again using Thotwel as an example. If Thotwel turns out to be a bust, maybe we can convince our people to come back.'

After a moment of tears, Lionna smiled and stood up. 'That sounds good,' she said.

Spencer stood up, took Lionna by the hand, and together they continued on the journey to Thotwel.

(To be continued)