Lick your wounds...

So today I delivered a sermon to one of my Seminary classes. This is the sermon I posted in the previous blog called 'Decaf or Regular '. I have been working on this sermon for the last month and a half.

The way preaching at school works is....the class already knows my three points. They already know my introduction. They know somewhat how I am going to conclude as well. The element of surprise in non-existent.
Basically, I am preaching to a class of Biblical Scholars who are only there to critique my method, stance, strength, and major points. It's not at all intimidating or stressful.

So right off the bat, I brought the wrong type of blank DVD. (Did I mention they film this thing so that they can replay it and point out more of your flaws? The flaws they forgot until they saw it again on the TV?) +R / -R ......as if there is not enough on my mind already.

Then, I turned in one form, but failed to turn in another. I failed to turn in the other because I didn't realize there was another form. I should have checked the syllabus again I guess... Strike Two.

As far as the presentation went, I did pretty well. Lots of energy and such.

But at the end of the sermon the prof raked me over the coals. For about 10 minutes. What makes it worse, is that pretty much everything he said I did wrong...I agreed with. I couldn't even argue or blame it on bad coffee.

So in essence, I got my butt kicked. At 7:45 AM. A great way to start a day. A nice butt kicking with a prof and 12 students to contribute.

And then, after the prof was done drilling me, a student came up trying to be encouraging and told me all about how he heard another pastor preach on this passage and I left out a crucial element that could have wrapped my points up better and.... blah blah blah.

Shut up.

If you want to be encouraging, say, 'Hey. Your shirt looks nice.' Don't rewrite my crappy sermon for me.

So now I do what I always do. I pick myself up, lick my wounds for a while, and remind myself that pain is weakness leaving the body. I wont make the same mistake(s) next time (which is in 4 weeks).

Preaching God's word isn't easy. Especially to know-it-all Seminary students. But if you can preach even a moderately mediocre sermon to them...then heck, I call it a good day.

May your day be critic-free.
Cheers.

Decaf or Regular?

Can you tell the difference between decaf and regular coffee just by looking at it? Maybe just by smelling it? Tasting it? At eight o’clock the night before my Hebrew final I thought I could. I opened the cabinet in the kitchen to find several containers of coffee, none of which had labels. So I pried the lids open one by one until I found the coffee that I supposed was the decaf. But at four in the morning the night before my Hebrew final, I realized that although the coffee had appeared to be decaf, although the coffee had smelled like decaf, had even tasted like decaf; the coffee was not decaf, but rather a French roast filled with caffeination.

Just as the appearance of the coffee did not guarantee it’s authenticity, so also the appearance of faith does not guarantee it’s authenticity. It is really easy to surround yourself with piles of spiritual books and spiritual people. It’s easy to fill your time with spiritual activites, Christian lectures and studies, to wear Christian T-shirts and bracelets; it is easy to appear as one with a thriving, growing, rich faith. But is your faith really authentic? Or is it a façade?

In Mark chapter eleven (11:11-22) we find Jesus in Jerusalem with his disciples, and he encounters what appears to be thriving faith at the temple.

1. Appearances can be deceiving. A bit cliché I know, but it’s true.

I coach a youth soccer team of boys ages 12-16. On my team is a boy named Joel. He is the tiniest player on my team, 4’-1”, weighing in at 86 pounds. Joel is a defender. Typically a coach will want tall, lanky, fast players for defense. But not me. I will put Joel back there every chance I get. Why? Because Joel is fearless and tougher than nails. Some might say indestructible. It doesn’t matter how big the other players are, Joel will take them out. He will tackle, he will steal the ball, he will scrap it out and you wont get by him. Joel is my secret weapon because other coaches only see his size and not his tenaciousness. Appearances can be deceiving.

In verse eleven, Jesus and the disciples go into the temple and it says Jesus looked all around. He assessed the situation, realized that it was evening (not the best time for teaching a lesson) and left. The next day Jesus came back with the disciples in verse 15 and he ‘cast out those who were buying and selling in the temple, and overturned the money-changers and the seats of those who were selling doves, and he would not permit anyone to carry goods through the temple.’

There are a couple things to notice. First, this is the temple in Jerusalem; probably the most popular and busy temple anywhere around during this time. Picture the crowds of people at the State Fair on its last weekend of the year. When you walk in the gates of the State Fair and you see the throng of people you think to yourself, Wow. This is the place to be.

But after you walk around for a while and you see the 1,200 pound pig, after you eat a bunch of fried food, after you see a couple shows, you think this place isn’t all that great after all and you want to go home.

Jesus walks through the gate entering Jerusalem and he immediately sees a throng of people at the temple. By all appearances it looks to be the place to be. But as he gets closer he sees that the temple is filled with the wrong kind of people.

The temple was supposed to be a place of meaning and purpose; a place of worship. To present a sacrifice or offering to God was supposed to be a serious event, something not taken lightly. But instead, the temple is filled with vendors and moneychangers.

The temple had become a place of convenience, where you could get things your way, delivered to your car window in a matter of minutes. You didn’t need to bring any sacrifices of your own because you could buy them there at the temple. You could probably pay others to make the sacrifice for you if you chose to be that lazy (to get back to the things in life that were really important). All of the thought and meaning behind the purpose of the temple had been replaced for convenience and efficiency. This is why Jesus says in verse 17, ‘my house shall be called a house of prayer for all the nations, but you have turned it into a robbers den.’

The appearance of faith does not guarantee authentic faith; true faith. Appearances can be deceiving.

2. Faith must be judged by it’s fruit.

If you want authentic faith, there has to be evidence of fruit.

This is why the fig tree is so important in this story. Notice in verse 12 that Jesus was hungry. He was looking for real fruit, and from a distance he saw the fig tree and in verse 13 it says the tree was ‘in leaf’. It had a full, bushy, healthy appearance. But as Jesus examined the tree for fruit; nothing was there. Why is nothing there? Because the tree was out of season.

And Jesus cursed the fig tree anyway.

This always used to bother me. Why did Jesus curse a tree for doing what the tree always does? Trees have seasons and they typically stick to their cycle. You don't see a lot of rogue trees out there.

But notice when this occurs. Jesus had just visited the temple in the previous verse and he had seen the throngs of people and the appearance of thriving faith. But he had also noticed the lack of true worship and faith. Just like the temple, the fig tree appeared to be healthy and growing, but just like the temple, there was no fruit to be found on it.

My wife has all these little tricks when it comes to choosing produce. You want a good cantaloupe, you smell it. You want a good watermelon; you knock on it and see if it sounds hollow. Banana’s need a hint of green still left on them so they last longer. Avocados need to feel firm and the darker the green the better. I didn’t know any of this stuff until after I was married. During college I had pretty much stopped buying any kind of healthy food because I kept bringing things like peaches home and when I’d bite into them they would either be as hard as a rock, or so mushy I would end up gagging.

But just like my wife knows how to pick a good melon, Jesus knows that faith without fruit isn’t authentic. It’s just a show. A sad façade.

3. Faith without Fruit has Consequences.

Jesus, in verse 15, saw the lack of fruit at the temple and he cleaned it out. He was violent, physical, and purposefully confrontational. Jesus made a complete mess of the tables, the coins were flying everywhere, the doves were flying in panic-stricken circles, goats were running around, and moneychangers were using four letter Greek words. The priests in verse 18 were so mad they began plotting how to kill Jesus. Faith without fruit has consequences.

Jesus cursed the fig tree for its lack of fruit in verse 14. Then in verse 20 after they left the cleaned-out temple, they passed by the fig tree again and it had withered from the roots up. I’m not a scholar of horticulture, but when trees die, they typically do not wither from the roots first. Typically they start dying from the limbs and the roots are the last thing to go. This tree experienced a radical withering death in a very short amount of time. When Peter saw the torched tree, he said in verse 21, Rabbi, behold, the tree which you cursed has withered.’

I don’t know what Peter exactly thought was going to happen to the tree. I don’t know why he is surprised. But Jesus’ response in 22 is critical. He says, ‘Have faith in God.’ The appearance of faith isn’t enough. Being in a place of faith surrounded by faithful people isn’t enough. True faith, authentic faith must have fruit because,

Faith without fruit has consequences.

Conclusion

Without a label, when you just have grounds to look at; there is no way to differentiate decaf coffee from regular. The grade of my Hebrew final can testify to that. I can stare at it all day, I can smell different bags for hours, and in the end it will be a coin toss. A lucky guess maybe.

Which are you? Is your faith the real deal, or maybe you just look a lot like the real deal? Do you know? Is God’s word transforming you from the inside out? Or is it all just head knowledge? Do you find yourself becoming more patient, kind, gentle, loving? Do your friends at church see fruit in your life? Or do you feel like you are putting on a show every time you see certain people? Are you telling your wife / husband you love them and then neglecting to spend time with them? Do you find yourself spending more and more time at work rather than going home to your family? Are you consistently involving yourself in service to others, or do you always have more important stuff to do? Does your worship of God have meaning and purpose, or are you looking for a more convenient time, a more efficient way to go about it?

It is easy to put on the appearance of faith. But appearances can be deceiving, and God sees past the appearance and he is looking for fruit. Is he finding it in you? Because if he’s not, there will be consequences. I don’t know exactly what the consequences will be, but I am confident the consequences will not be fun. Let me encourage you to stop the business for just a little while and examine your faith. Is it real? Is there fruit? Are you the real thing, keeping people awake all night? Or are you a dud?

Cheers.

What's in a Name....

Growing up, I watched as my mom had three more kids. Her friends also had kids. My Aunts and Uncles had kids. Everybody had kids. Kids, kids, kids....

And every kid that came along had a name. Some names were better than others....but they all had names and I just thought that kids were born with name tags attached to their feet or something. What I didn't know was that naming a child is not easy and many people end up with serious drama going on over the name that they pick for their little spawni.

You would think it would be as easy as 1 -2 - his name is Bob (or her name is Bob. I don't want to be sexist). But it's not. Family names get tossed around....guilt trips are laid upon people, and names get stolen and used. Families end up in huge arguments over names.

But we are all going to die soon so we must keep things in perspective and stop wasting our time right?

So being myself, I have decided to end this world wide problem that has lasted for centuries. I have two suggestions...maybe three for you to consider when naming your spawn.

1. Only choose names from the Chason's Approved List. These names are:

Boys:

Chason (your best choice)

Avery (also works for a girl name)

Bob (never gets old)

Will

William

Edward

William Wallace (yes, the adding of 'Wallace' does make a huge difference)

Vin Deisel (sure it promotes baldness...but the name sounds like it could kick your name's butt)

Girls:

Annie (the sun will come up tomorrow chick. You can't go wrong)

Caroline (this is a royalty name people)

There are only two girls names.

Idea # 2. Don't tell anyone. This includes anyone that could consider themselves to be human, or that breathes. By not telling anyone until the little sucker shoots out...you eliminate any drama at least up until the birth. And then, it's too late...the kid has a name and it's to late to go back.

Idea # 3. You combine the husband and wife's name to make the name.

Examples:

Bob + Pam = Bam

Gordon + Chastity = Gastity

Oscar + Pam = Oscar the Grouch

Sebastian + Casper = Sebastar (be careful how you say this one)

There you go people. Now that I have solved your naming issues, you can go back to bickering about whatever it was you were bickering about before you found out you had spawn coming.

Cheers

Marrying Cain

God creates Adam.
God creates Eve from Adam's rib.
Adam and Eve beget sons, Cain & Abel.
Cain kills Abel.
Then there are 3.

Right?

But then it says, 'Then Cain went out from the presence of the Lord, and settled in the land of Nod, east of Eden. And Cain had relations with his wife and she conceived, and gave birth to Enoch..' (Gen 4:16-17a).

So where did this chick come from for Cain to marry? Did she just appear out of no where? Did God secretly create more people that were running around the world creating weirdly named cities like Nod? Did Cain marry a sister?

It's so funny to me that out of all the issues presented in the Bible, out of all the strange stories and works of God therein, out of all the thousands of questions that can be created after reading said book; the issue of Cain's wife keeps coming up as a stumbling block to faith. Just in the last year I have had this conversation at least 4 or 5 times with people. So while it's not a big deal to me, I will discuss my reasons here with you in hopes of removing this issue from the table.

When I was 12 I played on a Little League Baseball team that was very competitive. While I was a great Short Stop, I was also a great 50/50 Pitcher. I say 50/50 because I either pitched excellently, striking everyone out; or I self-destructed on the mound allowing hit after hit through a blur of tears. I had low self esteem and I simply couldn't handle the pressure of letting my team down if I didn't do well.

So one day when I knew the coach was going to have me pitch in the game, I developed a fake sore shoulder. When he put me on the mound to warm up, after every pitch I complained about my fake wounded shoulder. After all my whining, coach finally put me back at Short Stop where I wouldn't have to throw as much and someone else took over the mound. By focusing everyone on a minor issue that didn't really exist...I deflected my coach and team mates from the real issue at hand........I was scared to fail.

Misdirection.

I believe that God created Adam as the first man to ever exist. I don't believe God created any other people groups at the same time. This is why God says the man was alone (Gen 2:18). It is very important that Adam be the first man and that all other people are descendants of Adam because sin entered into the world through Adam (1st Cor 15:21-22) and corrupted everyone else to come. If there were other men running around, this would negate this concept.

Further, through Jesus, unity between men and God was restored (Heb 9:22). So sin comes through one man, and restoration comes through one man.

The point: Everybody came from Adam....we are DNA bound to Adam....we can't escape that our heritage begins with Adam.

Then God created Eve from Adam's rib. This was God's way of providing for Adam. So Adam and Eve have a good sexual relationship and they beget sons, Cain and Abel. But Cain and Abel are not all of Adam's and Eve's kids!! There were a bunch more! Adam lived to be 930 years old (Gen 5:5). You can have a lot of children in 930 years. Since everybody is a descendant of Adam, Cain's choices for a wife were very little outside the family. But just as God provided for Adam, God also provided a wife for Cain. His sister.

Eww. So Cain married his sister? Incest? Isn't that very Arkansas? Jerry Springer? Isn't that against God's laws? Sure it is....but you need to notice two important things.

1st, God commanded Adam and Eve to multiply and be fruitful, to fill the Earth and subdue it (Gen 1:28). If Adam and Eve are the only family on the Earth.....then marriages are going to come from within the family. At least at the beginning. And this was in obedience to God. So Cain married his sister, and Cain's kids married their cousins and so forth. And God was happy.

2nd, God's laws concerning incest does not come until the time of Moses (Lev 18 - 20), much much later. At the beginning, God allowed this method of intermarriage in the family as part of the filling of the Earth. Once that was accomplished, then God created incestuous laws. But even these laws concerned marriage immediately within the family. It did not necessarily apply to cousins and such. The truth is, if you think about it...one way or another, if you go back far enough, everyone is related.

So Cain marrying his sister was an act of obedience to God. Further, Cain was not bound by any incestuous laws. Does this mean God endorses incest today? No!!! But this was the means for man's spread over the Earth at the beginning.

Does this make me uncomfortable? Sure. Being immersed in this culture, unable to truly detach from it enough to have an unbiased view, Cain's marriage to a sister is uncomfortable to me.
Does God do things and allow things that don't always make sense to me? Does God do things that make me uncomfortable? Yes. All the time. The Bible is filled with uncomfortable situations. Do I allow these things to prevent me from believing that God has a plan and purpose even if I don't understand it? Heck no.

Remember the Little League story? I bring this up to say that a lot of people, in order to avoid facing the real issues and struggles in their lives, try to divert attention onto smaller issues. Issues like Cain's marriage to his sister. If you can believe that God created the world, then you can believe that Cain married a sister. It's not like a miracle or something. I would encourage you to work at the deeper issues rather than diverting attention to other things that are not of top concern. I don't want to say that this is not an issue that needs to be discussed. Cain marrying his sister is certainly a good conversation to have.

But faith in God should not be deterred by such a small thing when so much is truly at stake. When there is a fire, you don't get the computer, books, TiVo, and your CD collection out first.

You rescue the people.

cheers.

The Kingdom Movie

I walked into the classroom the other day and a clump of guys were talking excitedly about the movie The Kingdom. I hadn't heard much about the movie and although I enjoy watching Jamie Foxx, it wasn't on my list of things to spend $9.00 on. But these guys told me the movie was great.

Then, several close friends of mine called wanting to go see it because their friends had told them it was great as well. So I jumped aboard the train, losing my Starbucks quota for the week, and spent my money at Cinemark.

The movie is absolutely not for children. It was one of the most intense movies I have ever seen. The topic at hand is terrorism which is a sad morbid topic to begin with. The cinematography is very well done. The audio is excellent. The acting is very good as well. Jamie Foxx and Chris Cooper are two of my favorite actors and they do a great job. I was really surprised at Jason Bateman's performance. After Arrested Development I didn't know the guy could do serious acting. While I am not at all a Jennifer Garner fan (anyone who dates Ben-I'll-kill-your-career-Affleck is way off my list), she does a very good job as well.

The movie's best pro is also it's con. The Kingdom is a great look at how fighting terrorists is a near impossible task. There is no good way about it. They hide behind women and children. They have no respect for life. They are motivated by the promises of a God who hates everyone in the world but them, and demands blood. It is truly disgusting. And I find myself wondering how to fight against such an evil.

Anyway, the movie does such a good job showing how horrific terrorists are....that I was depressed and angry after watching the movie. I paid $9.00 to go home angry. That's the paradox I guess. I would encourage you, if you choose to watch the movie, to brace yourself for this coming frustration. There is no happy ending, only the sad truth that the resolve on both sides of terrorism is firm and more killing and brutalization will come.

Under the Hood

Every time I go into the Kwik Kar Lube down the street to get my oil changed, they never let me leave before trying to get me to replace my air filter. This, they tell me, will cost $18.00. Ten years ago, when I was a novice driver, I once paid for this service. Then, when I got home my father took me out to my car, popped my hood, and showed me how simple it was to replace the air filter. I compare it to placing a piece of toast into the toaster.

Oh. And the actual air filter itself cost $6.00 at Walmart.

Needless to say I felt like an idiot. A very poor idiot. But an idiot and his money is soon parted right? Anyhow, many people have this same sort of problem when it comes to studying the Bible. It can be such an easy thing to learn how to do. But when you haven't been shown a good method, you can feel lost and inadequate.....and spend $18.00 for someone else to do it for you (you get the analogy right?)

So today I want to show you one of the methods I use when studying the Bible. Let me first say that this is not an entirely new method; I did not create it on my own. Actually, this method is a conglomeration of several different methods. I understand that most of the time, people are really busy and need a method that is user friendly. This method I am presenting is designed for someone to work through a passage in a relatively short amount of time. You can skip steps when needed; but the more time you spend on each step, the more you will get out of your study.

Step One: Prayer
As a general rule, always come to God's word with prayer. Sometimes understanding doesn't come easy. But if you ask God to show you truth from His word, He will come through every time. Every time.

Step Two: Start with a Purpose
Don't just flip the Bible open, close your eyes, and drop your finger magically on a passage. That is the truly crappiest way to start a Bible study. You don't turn on a movie in the middle, watch it for 3 minutes, and then turn it off. If you did, you would know nothing about the movie, the characters, the plot, anything. It's the same way for the Bible.

Instead, begin with an Author, Book, or Subject in mind. If you want to learn about faith in action, read any of Paul's letters in the New Testament. If you want to see how God expects you to live, read the Gospels. If you want to see a wide range of God's attributes, read any of the first 5 books of the Bible. If you want to study holiness, read Leviticus. Judgement? Read the prophets in the Old Testament. If you have something more specific, send me a comment and I will tell you a good place to start, or ask your local pastor.

Step Three: Observation
This is one of the hardest steps to follow through with....but it is my 2nd favorite step. Take the time to write down observations in your passage. An observation can be anything. Who is speaking? What's going on? Where is the story taking place? Who all is there? What time of day is it? etc. I generally like to list out at least 100 observations before I go any further. The observations are what bring the story to life.

It's like going to the museum. I never stand longer than 30 seconds in the modern art section because staring at a giant red circle doesn't impress me. However, when you go look at a Renoir's Dance at the Moulin de La Galette...the details are everything. The details allow you to feel like you are there. The details are what makes it beautiful and a treasure to behold.

I know 100 observations are hard to list. But I made 250 observations about one verse (Acts 1:8). So I know it can be done. It sounds a lot harder than it is....but once you get going, you will be surprised at the cool observations that you make. This I promise you.

Step Four: Questions
This is my favorite step because in general, I like questions. Especially challenging questions. Why do things happen? Where do they happen? How do people feel?

Jesus curses a fig tree in Mark 11. The first several times I read the passage I couldn't figure out why Jesus would do such a thing. It didn't make sense at all. I asked, Why did Jesus curse the fig tree? What was Jesus feeling? Did the fig tree have reason to be cursed? Was there something wrong with the tree? Where was the tree growing? Why did Jesus take the time to look at a stupid tree anyway?

Believe it or not, God likes it when you challenge Him with questions. You don't always get an answer quickly. It took me a month to begin to understand the fig tree incident. But the better the questions you ask, the better the reward at the end.

Step Five: Get the Background
Knowing the background usually can answer a lot of questions. For the sake of time, it is very convenient to have a good Bible commentary to consult. It usually takes 2 or 3 minutes to read and commentaries can point you in the right direction quickly. Save you a ridiculous amount of time. I recommend the Zondervan NIV Bible Commentary by Barker & Kohlenberger (two volumes costing somewhere around $50 for both). They are quick to read, good on content, and reasonably priced. A very helpful resource.

Step Six: Getting the Historical Message
Here you ask yourself two basic questions, and you answer yourself in the 3rd person (proper names, he she or it).
1. What's it talking about?
2. What's it saying about what it's talking about?
These two questions are not always easy to answer.

You need to answer both of these questions using one sentence.

Also, try to begin the sentence using Who, What, When, Where, Why, or How.

Example: In Mark 4:35-41 the Disciples are totally freaked out on a boat in the middle of a huge storm at sea and Jesus is below deck asleep. They wake Jesus up out of fear, and Jesus commands the sea to be still. After the sea stops, Jesus asks the disciples where their faith is.

1. Whats it talking about? How Jesus teaches the disciples that proximity with God does not guarantee safety...
2. What's it saying about what it's talking about? ....is by allowing them to suffer through a scary storm while he is asleep.

You narrow it down to one sentence like that. This gives you the basic subject of the historical truth that was true back then. Which leads to the next step...

Step Seven: Timeless Truth
Here you take the subject from the previous section and you generalize the message into a timeless truth....something that was true back then, is still true today, and will continue to be true in the future. Here, you have to think broad and generalize. From the previous example I wrote-
'A faithful relationship with God does not guarantee an easy, comfortable, and safe life.'
This sentence is true of anyone living at any time. It was true for the disciples...and it's true for me today.

Step Eight: Application
Here is where you bring the whole thing together. Here is where you see how this truth affects you at work, at home, in your marriage, with your kids, when you are playing sports, working out at the gym, driving in your car, etc....
Ask three last questions:
1. What does this mean? For me? For you? What are the implications?
2. Is this really true? If you decide it's not true here, you messed up on an earlier step. Sorry. But you don't want to continue if it's not true!!!
3. So what? Now that you've made it this far and you've discovered this nugget of truth...so what? What do you do with it? How do you apply it to your life? How do you live this truth out? How is this truth going to change the way you live tomorrow?

So that's getting under the hood. A crash course in Bible Exegesis. If you have any questions feel free to ask. I pray these steps will enrich your life and that God will bless your studies.

Cheers.

DoughNut Day Afternoon

Have you ever been too tired to think? I was having one of those glazed moments a couple of hours ago. And again 5 minutes ago. This weekend was a horrendous display of exhaustion. And even now, Tuesday, I feel like a 3 day old doughnut. Still good to the taste but stale and the glaze is all hard and crunchy. And it's been sitting in the box for way too long and nobody really wants it, but you paid good money for it so you can't throw the thing away....

OK so bad metaphor. So what? It's not like you're paying to read this.

Oh. And I think I have pneumonia. I really do. My lungs hurt. Every year at this exact time I get a sinus infection (I call it a sinus assault or brutalization because the word 'infection' isn't nearly harsh enough).

Plus, it's been gray and moist lately and I can't help but feel like my lungs are filled with water. I ran 20 laps this morning around the track and after, I wanted to find a nice cozy corner of the gym where the lights aren't so horribly bright, curl up on one of those nurse-scrub-blue-green work out mats...and die.

Have you ever noticed how many mirrors are in gyms? If I had a 12 pack and 24" biceps then being able to watch myself work out in the mirrors would be pretty cool. An ego boost for sure. But as it is..its like being face to face with my bouncing imperfections for an hour - constantly taunting me and saying mean things....and with all those weights just laying around, you would think someone would pick up a barbell and shove it right up the mirror's glass.

Not to mention yet another diet plan. I swore off all sugar (a thing I have wanted to do for years but have been too weak to follow through). This lasted about 3 good weeks and then trickle by trickle I caved. I have no will power. Especially when I am tired and needing comfort food.

In college, whenever the girls were depressed they would buy 'make-out' cookies from Walmart. I don't know how they got this name - but they do work. You feel so much better. I think it's because they are 68 % sugar and 20% Valium.

The marines have this motto that is greatly inspiring to me. 'Pain is weakness leaving the body.' I try to embrace this saying. It is a great manly phrase. But on your third set of crunches.....oh the pain. I haven't seen my abs since I was 8. I am wondering now if they were surgically removed as a child and my parents forgot to tell me.

And then it seems all my good friends have metabolisms of gold. sigh.

Well, they day is gray and lonely.
But I'll stick up my chin-
and grin-
and say-

The sun will come out tomorrow - betcher bottom dollar that tomorrow...

there will be sun.

Cheers.

A Letter...

Recently a friend of my family discovered her husband was having an affair with someone half his age. They have two boys and have been married over 25 years. Needless to say, this was devastating.

The divorce came after several extremely difficult months trying to hold things together. The oldest son is currently serving in the military and has been unavailable for much support or comment. The youngest son is finishing college. And quite suddenly the mom finds herself divorced, living in a new house, an empty house, and trying to start over.

Growing up, this family attended many of the same functions and programs that my family was a part of. They were Christian leaders, both politically as well as leaders in the church. They were active and involved in all the right things, grounded in faith. And then, 25 years later, the husband finds himself a trinket stewardess.

And everything crumbled.

Although this infuriates me. Upsets me. Breaks my heart for the family. What upsets me most is the response of the Christian men who knew this family, who were friends with this family, who also considered themselves Christian leaders.

During the discovery of the affair, the months of futile counseling, throughout the arguments and verbal abuse, at the signing of the divorce papers; none of the Christian men confronted the husband.

Now, even if a bunch of Christian men had gathered to confront the husband and rebuke him for his actions, it doesn't necessarily mean the husband would have repented. But the Christian men that were friends with this family had the responsibility to attempt to bring this man back in from the fringe. Just because they didn't do it (out of fear and the dislike of uncomfortable situations) doesn't mean they didn't have the responsibility. And it doesn't mean God wont hold them accountable for shirking their responsibility either.

The church is a community. When one goes astray, the others are there to help try to pull him back to sanity. Christianity is not about the individual (much to contrary of popular Christianity practices). How does this mother feel when her husband loses his mind and no one comes to his aide?

I am so sorry that no one stepped up.

The husband was wrong. Is wrong. And I pray he will come back to his senses before the consequences are too great. Even David (a man after God's own heart) came back after his affair, his lies, deceit, murder. So there is hope and we should be praying for it.

And to the mother, my family friend - God has not forgotten about you. God still loves you and although life is difficult and will continue to be so, he will not abandon you. Maybe your husband will pull his act together. Maybe God will send a large fish to swallow him. Maybe he'll hit rock bottom. But you remain strong and faithful so that one day you will receive a reward and be found above reproach. May your faith grow stronger, and your sleep at night be peaceful.
God bless.

Jason Bourne

I just wanted to take a brief moment to endorse what I think is one of the best movie series of my time. Unlike Pirates of the Caribbean and the Matrix trilogies, The Jason Bourne series was well written all the way through. The film making was superb, kudos to Paul Greengrass for doing a fantastic job on the last two. The car chases, fight scenes, and overall tempo were truly astounding to watch. The movies had very little language, no nudity or stupid sex scenes, and little in the disturbing graphic department. This just goes to show that what I have always thought - sex, gore, and language often hide shoddy filmmaking, pathetic acting, and poor writing.

I was actually feeling melancholy watching Ultimatum because it's the end of a good thing. Matt Damon is phenomenal, drawing the viewer into the world. He's a great actor all around, but he really shines here.

Best movie of the summer: The Bourne Ultimatum.
(followed closely by Transformers - but I will discuss my admiration for Michael Bay at a later date.)

Knife at a Gunfight (Part Five)

2^nd Sam 13:1-39

A very bizarre and interesting story; but first, some background info.

The year is 1000 A.D. David is King over Israel. He has been doing pretty well as King except for two problems. First, he had a little incident with Bathsheba (lusted, committed adultery, lied, stole, and murdered: See chapter 11) Secondly, he has married multiple women, and now he has many children and baby-mommas. David has a son, Absalom, and a daughter, Tamar, by one wife. He has another son, Amnon, by another wife. Family gymnastics all over the place.

The story begins with the problem: Amnon loves his step-sister. (Gross I know. An incest story in the Bible. And you thought this book was boring…)

But it’s not really love that Amnon has for Tamar. It’s more like an obsessive lust. This obsession with Tamar reaches bizarre levels to the point where Amnon is making himself sick. This continues for weeks.

This is the way lust works. It begins as a disturbing thought. A thought that you begin to dwell on. And before long, you are having desires that you know are bad. But here’s the tell: you know that it’s wrong but you don’t care. In fact, you have begun to make up excuses and arguments for why it should be right. Lust is a nasty thing.

Out of frustration Amnon conveys his lust to his confidant, Jonadab. It’s interesting to note that the Bible says Jonadab was a smart man (shrewd). It’s an ironic phrase considering that a smart, intelligent man wouldn’t devise the sort of scheme that Jonadab gives to Amnon.

Amnon pretends to have the flu and asks David to allow Tamar to come and be his nurse during his illness. David, unaware of Amnon’s freak obsession, sends Tamar as requested.

A thought: Why has David not noticed this freakish obsession in Amnon? Amnon has been getting lust-sick for months after all. Does David not spend any time with his son? Enough time to notice Amnon’s weird behavior? Remember: David had married a bunch of women and had a bunch of kids. He has to make the rounds. Instead of spending quality time with a couple kids, he is a daddy drive-through. Maybe that’s why God didn’t want him to have a bunch of wives to begin with. Back to the story -

Tamar, being an obedient daughter, goes and spends her afternoon in Amnon’s house baking him cookies. What a girl scout. Then she brings the cookies to Amnon and Amnon sends everyone out of his house except Tamar. Sin likes privacy.

Then Amnon asks Tamar to feed the cookies to him by hand in his bedroom. (This is a ruse of course. Any time a guy asks a single girl to come into his bedroom…it’s always a ruse ladies. Stay out. There’s only one thing on the brain – one thing).

Then Amnon tries to force himself on Tamar, and she of course freaks out. Tamar stops him long enough to remind him of the absolute foolishness of this situation; she even tells Amnon to discuss the matter with David.

But Amnon doesn’t think twice. He forces her into sex. This is also known as rape. This is the true manifestation of lust; taking something good and beautiful out of context and ravaging it.

But the even sicker part - the moment the deed is done, Amnon doesn’t love her anymore (big surprise). Instead, Amnon now hates her. Not just a little bit of dislike. But he passionately hates her. He hates her more than all the lust he had had for her. And he tells her to get the heck out of his house. Tamar tries to argue, but Amnon has her physically thrown out like a whore – like a used piece of trash.

Nobody likes to look their own sin in the face. Amnon is no exception.

Tamar flees home, ripping her clothes and weeping all the way. And Absalom finds out what has happened. As an older brother of two sisters, I can assure you that my actions in this sort of situation would not be lawful. But Absalom does two things. First, Absalom comforts her and gets her home. Second, he waits for David to find out what has happened. After all, Tamar is David’s daughter, she is his responsibility. Absalom knows it is David’s obligation to act on her behalf. And we get this verse about David:

‘Now when King David heard of all these matters, he was very angry.’ (13:21). This is all we get about David here. If you were the father of these kids and you heard this sort of thing occurred – would you do anything? Or just be mad? David does nothing. No justice. No punishment. No response of any kind. Can you imagine what Absalom was thinking? Or what about Tamar? Did her father think she was just not worth anything? Can you imagine what David’s inaction did to her self-esteem and self-worth?

Absalom is furious (understandable) and hates Amnon for what he did.

Two years go by. Two years of silence. Two years of hurt feelings, hateful thoughts, of inaction. What an awkward place to postpone a story right? A huge intermission here.

When the curtains open again Absalom is preparing to throw a huge party and invites David and Amnon ( feels like Shakespeare). David decides not to go but allows Amnon to attend. The party is huge with alcohol and craziness. All the princes of the kingdom are doing karaoke and playing cards. People are drunk; and one of these people is Amnon.

And then, right when Amnon is drunk and falling over, Absalom kills Amnon (not directly – his servants do the killing under Absalom’s orders). This incident sorta disrupts the party and everyone flees; including Absalom out of fear of his father.

The report reaches David that Amnon has been killed by Absalom. Further, David is told Absalom had been plotting this murder for two years, since the day his sister was raped. And then the text mentions that Jonadab, there with the other servants of the king, confirms the report of the murder. Why is Jonadab still in the picture? After his last brilliant advice, why has David kept him around? Toxic people (like Jonadab) need to be fired. Get them out of your life. Don’t let someone with horrible judgment whisper advice into your ears. David should have kicked this guy to the curb a long time ago.

And now the story ends on a sad, strange note.

Absalom stays hidden from his father for three long years. He doesn’t want to risk capital punishment (which was a Jewish law). He loses the relationships of his father and family in order to provide justice for his sister. Sons need justice from their fathers. Sons need to see their fathers stand up and do what is necessary and right. When a father fails to give their sons this kind of example, then sons bottle it up, sons pent up their feelings, sons don’t seek the proper channels of justice, and sons pull out knives on bullies.

‘And the heart of King David longed to go out to Absalom; for he was comforted concerning Amnon, since he was dead.’ (13:39)

Who’s responsibility was it to deal with Amnon? It was David’s. So why hadn’t he dealt with this situation in two years? First, David felt inadequate to act on account of his screw-up with Bathsheba. He had lusted after her, had ordered a married woman to be brought to him, he slept with her, and had her husband murdered so that no one would find out that he had gotten Bathsheba pregnant. It’s hard to punish someone when you are guilty of the same sins. David feared being called a hypocrite. However, God recognizes that everyone makes mistakes. God had forgiven and continued to use David despite his failures.

But when it comes to Amnon, David can’t bring himself to do anything. He can’t get passed his own hypocrisy and bring justice like a King should. Like a father should. Sure he gets angry. But being angry isn’t enough for either Tamar or Absalom. And to make it even worse, David is happy that Absalom brought the justice that he couldn’t. But he’s too proud to say anything. He could have sought out his son in the three years following the murder. He could have sent word that all was well. But he doesn’t do this either because he doesn’t want to admit that someone else had to do his job of bringing justice. A King shouldn’t have other people doing his job. Neither should fathers.

Absalom on the other hand almost looks like a hero in the story. But he’s not. Absalom had no right to bring justice to the situation. It was his father’s responsibility. We know Absalom sat around for two years planning the murder. Why in two years did Absalom not pressure his father into action? Why was he silent for two years? Absalom murdered because he hadn’t learned how to deal with anger and frustration. He let it boil over inside until his inaction led to a horribly stupid action.

If we are going to be real men, William Wallace sort of men, we have to cut inaction and fear out of our lives. Sure, sometimes it is going to be difficult to act. Sometimes we will be fearful of what people will think. Sometimes we are going to be hypocrites because we are not perfect people. But inaction always brings consequences, not only on us, but directly upon our families as well.

I have heard it taught in church that staying low, under the radar, is the best approach for a Christian because by being neutral we are objective and we stay away from offending people by choosing a side. This is hogwash. And usually this approach is just hiding someone’s fear of acting.

Real men have backbones. Inaction frustrates and hurts wives, daughters, and sons. Our families are looking at us to be strong godly men, unafraid to act even when it’s uncomfortable. Our wives want to see us as protectors of the home. They want to know that if it’s necessary, we will pick up the sword when we must. Daughters need to know that their fathers think they’re valuable. They need to know that we will come to their aid and defense when they need it. Even if we have to do things that are uncomfortable and hard. Sons need to see fathers carry out their responsibility. Even when it’s hard. Sons become like their fathers. I hope that they would see a strong and capable father in you. A father who is not paralyzed by inaction.

May you act. May you come to your daughter’s defense. May you set a true example for your sons. And may you not boil over.

Knife at a Gunfight (Part Four)

In the previous section, we saw that if men are going to be real men, the kind of men that God has called them to be, the kind of men that wives and daughters need;

It begins with men knowing and accepting responsibility.
It begins with men being confident in conflict situations.
It begins with men maintaining honesty and integrity.

This week I want to focus on a tumor. A nasty tumor that’s terminal and must be removed. A tumor that causes paralysis in otherwise godly men.

Inaction & Fear

When I was in the 5^th grade, I was small. Very small. Unlike all the other boys, I didn’t hit my growth spurt until 8^th grade (sad I know). However, my literal size did not dictate the size of my competitive spirit. I played hard. Real hard. And I didn’t like taking crap from anyone bigger than me.

But there was this one dude, Keith, who pushed me around everyday at recess. He would throw me to the ground, jump on me, he even punched me in the face on several occasions. Worse, whenever I was talking with girls he would ridicule me in front of them, mocking my size and taunting me to fight. I really hated this dude. He made life miserable.

I spoke of it a little to my parents, not much though. It was too damaging to my pride to admit to my parents that I was getting run over by Keith daily and needed their protection. I just couldn't tell them. I couldn't tell anyone.

They say water torture breaks people because it is relentless. The never ending falling water drives people mad. And this is what happened with me and Keith. I snapped.

I took a 4” knife to school hidden in my shoe.

One afternoon, I was talking to Cara and Laurie (I had a huge crush on Cara) by the playground and Keith came from behind and sucker punched me to the ground. He laughed and I regained my breath, whipped the knife out of my shoe, held it up in front of him, and pressed him into the school building. And big bad boy Keith started crying.

I said, ‘The next time you touch me, I’ll do it.’ And I put the knife in my pocket and walked away.

Now, please understand, this was long before Columbine, long before real violence was occurring in schools. I never had any real intention of using the blade. If my kids ever take a weapon to school I will have their behind on a platter. My point is that I had done nothing to stop the abuse for months. I didn't use the proper channels to get help. I didn't show my anger, letting it build up inside for months. My inaction led to a horribly stupid action.

My principle yelled at me for quite a while - even threatened me with a paddle. I was grounded for a week by my parents and missed recess for four days. (Again, this was a long time ago. This sort of thing didn't even make the news back then). But,

Keith never touched me again. Cara and the other cheerleaders congratulated me on my return to recess. A somewhat happy ending. Except that I didn't really learn the lesson. Violence doesn't always stop the beatings in life. In fact, violence often leads to an even worse situation in life. I should have spoken to the teachers, parents, or principle about Keith. I should have stood up to him earlier (without a weapon). I shouldn't have let it build up inside.

Sometimes men think that inaction is the best way to avoid conflict, which is the Christian way to do everything. Sometimes men think that anger is a sin, and so they repress their feelings, bottling them up inside to explode later. If this is true why did Paul write, ‘Be angry and do not sin’ (Eph 4:26)? Sometimes men use ‘Christian passivity’ to hide the fact that they are too fearful to act. But inaction and fear are the true cancer to godly men.

As before we are going to examine a situation in the life of David found in 2^nd Samuel 13:1-39. Here we will see David struggle with inaction and fear, just like you and I do as Christian men, and David will fail. Sometimes the best examples come from learning after the failures of others.

Continued in Part Five….