The Green Beasty (Part Two)

First of all, I would like to begin by saying today is my 27th birthday.

May you rejoice and be glad in it.



Now, onto the Green Beasty.

My last blog talked about those in the group that believe creation happened as chance.

This one will focus on those who believe creation happened by intelligent design (meaning God, aliens, something with creative power that is not human).

This group believes that they and the rest of creation (the universe and earth and all in it) were created.

Not only created; but created on purpose with a purpose. That whatever intelligent being created them, they are here for a reason. This group has a much easier time in dealing with green issues for the simple reason that they fall back on their creator when it comes to these issues.

While the other group goes green out of fear and guilt, this group goes green out of an inherited responsibility and the fear of not following through with this responsibility.

The idea goes: Intelligent being creates Earth and man. The intelligent being leaves earth to man, that he should take care of it. Man takes care of the earth. For a while. Until Texas Tea is discovered. The world goes to pot. Pollution reigns. The intelligent being is ticked off with man for abandoning his responsibility. Intelligent being torches man.

So when it comes to tending to, cultivating, and taking care of the Earth; this group, because of its belief in intelligent design concerning creation, goes green because they feel the responsibility to do so.

Like when your mom tells you to take out the trash. You take it out.
When your boss tells you to prepare a presentation. You prepare it. And you prepare it well (if you want to keep said job).

Seriously, who wants to be the guy who destroys the Earth and then runs into Earth's creator. The creator says, 'What have you been up to?'

Stupid man - 'Oh. Not much. Just destroying what you created.'

'The Earth looks like crap now,' says the Creator.

'Yup.' says idiot man.

ZAP.

Idiot man no longer exists. (End of story)

So already, the presuppositions concerning creation that one brings to the issue of Global Warming, El Nino, Going Green, and such are first and foremost on the table.
You can't even start the conversation without seeing where the other person is coming from; chance or intelligent design.

But unlike those who believe he Earth was created by chance, those in this group have the problem then of figuring out the following:

1. What is my responsibility to this world?
2. What is my responsibility to its creator?
3. What are the consequences should I let the world go to pot?

And these are all good questions.
And this is where the people in this group go down their differing roads. The concept of intelligent design is broad, and all forms of God fit into this grouping. And Gods are different much to the dismay of the unitarians.

While I know about Buddhism and Islamic beliefs, I have decided not to focus on them for the remainder of this series. Mainly because I don't believe in either one of them.

Rather, I will focus on Christianity.

Till next blog,

Enjoy this fine and glorious day on the planet Earth, and may you remember my birthday. Oohrah.

The Green Beasty (Part One)

You can't help the constant onslaught of the media and the 'Going Green' Phenomena.

Perhaps you feel like I do; a hostage held at gunpoint seconds away from death should you accidentally throw your Coke can into the trash can instead of the recycling bin.

Maybe you've seen the bumperstickers -

"Going Green doesn't mean you have to love the Irish."

"Help Stop Global Warming: Shut Your Ozone Hole."

"McDonalds Isn't Food."

"Love Your Mother Earth."

"Humans Aren't the Only Species on Earth - We Just Act Like It."

"Plants and Animals are Disappearing to Make Room for Your Fat @$$."

"Insatiable is not Sustainable."

"May the Forest Be With You."

And so on and on and on and on ......

You can't turn on the TV anymore without someone propagating Global Warming - The Ozone Layer - Recycling - and how we should all drive less, ride bicycles more, pay more for gas, and revert back to the 1800's and save future generations.

So Global Warming is a big issue. A green issue. Its leafy some might say.

(A Rabbit Trail That I Must Indulge for a Moment)

It is ironic that people hate having people show up at their door, witnessing and so forth, standing on street corners and such; people in general hate being preached to.
And yet the 'Going Green' crowd invades every form of media on a daily basis shoving its mucous-colored hand down our throats at every available opportunity.
And on top of that, we are supposed to like it.
I just saw 'Walle' and its every bit as bad as 'The Happening.' The whole movie is propaganda on overconsumption and how fat people are destroying the world with their garbage. Is this the death of Pixar?

(Conclusion of rabbit trail)

But rather than going on and on (like the wacko environmentalists) ranting about the ludicrous nature, intrusion, and obnoxiousness of the 'Going Green' movement, I decided to be productive and figure out what the Bible says about the World, taking care of it, and how it relates to Global Warming, Going Green, and the Destruction of Mankind.

As I sat down to begin, I realized that this study would take far more time to write than one blog, so I spaced it out into several; and I truly hope that you will find this article beneficial (Its always encouraging to discover that there are sane people still living in this ridiculous world.)

The First Issue to address is creation.

Why?

Well, there are two groups of people in the world: those who believe the world was created by some sort of intelligent design (God - Aliens - something other than humans); and then those who believe everything was created by chance, a big bang, evolution, Darwin, something organic.

This article will not dive into my view of creation - but this must be addressed first and foremost because everything else concerning this argument truly lies here. YOU CANNOT ADDRESS THIS ISSUE WITHOUT FIRST HAVING A PRESUPPOSITION CONCERNING CREATION.

“The mystery of the beginning of all things is insoluble by us; and I for one must be content to remain an agnostic” -Charles Darwin

Those that believe the world was just created by chance group mankind into the organic beings category. My Science book from college states that humans are mammals (yes, at a Christian University). While humans may be superior to all the other creatures, we are not really different. We are organic masses that grow, mature, reproduce, and die like everything else. So humans, the dogs, platypuses, and rhino's are all on equal footing according to those who believe in creation by chance.

All the other beings in the world, mammals included, live in harmony with the Earth and what's in it. In the movie the Matrix, Mr. Smith says, 'Every living being on this planet creates an equilibrium with its environment.' (Or something like that.)

“We must, however, acknowledge, as it seems to me, that man with all his noble qualities... still bears in his bodily frame the indelible stamp of his lowly origin.” - Charles Darwin

But not humans. Humans consume natural resources, burn gas, make more food than they can eat, drink more than they can drink, cut down trees, dump oil into the ocean, and throw plastic six-pack rings into parks where birds heads get stuck in them and die. Sometimes this happens to baby dolphins too when the plastic rings get hurled into the ocean.

Humans are basically a virus on this planet - consuming everything in its way.

So those that believe the world was created by chance are consumed by guilt (that they are destroying everything) or by fear (that their children wont survive in the gaseous fumes of the ruined earth) - and think that we should all do everything possible to save the planet - save it now darn it!

Guilt or fear.

“The universe we observe has precisely the properties we should expect if there is, at bottom, no design, no purpose, no evil, no good, nothing but blind, pitiless indifference” - Charles Darwin

I narrowed it down to guilt and fear because no other mammal (or other species) on this planet cares about anything but itself and its spawn. You don't see elephants running off to save giraffes. You don't see baboons lift a finger to help the gazelle that's being torn apart by a lioness.

And sine humans are mammals, we should only care about ourselves and out spawn as well. And this is evident in the culture around us. It is every man for himself.

This is what Darwin taught us after all right? Survival of the fittest.
The only problem is, survival of the fittest doesn't leave people with a reason other than guilt or fear to save this planet. To go green.

You can't call it love. Lions don't love the earth. They need it. We don't love the earth. But oxygen is pretty darn important for my survival.

In the end, if it is a decision between my survival (and comfort) and the Earth, my survival will win out every time.
And if it was between your survival and the earth - you would choose you as well you selfish person. Thats the truth. Thats Darwin for you. Its easy to care when it doesn't hurt you. But once you can't afford to drive to work anymore because of the $20.00 gas prices - we'll see how loyal you really are to not drilling off the coast of Florida.

Now I say all of this, not as condemnation for those in this group, but as the logical procession of thought according to how this view of creation must see the world.

“I was a young man with uninformed ideas. I threw out queries, suggestions, wondering all the time over everything; and to my astonishment the ideas took like wildfire. People made a religion of them.”- Charles Darwin

Now, lets move on to the second group.

The Happening

This blog began as one thing and in turn, led me to something else entirely. Last Friday night, I went to the theater ( a huge one that costs $9.50 for a ticket) with my gorgeous wife and sister and brother (that's $38.00 bucks before drinks and popcorn) to see M. Night Shyamalan's new movie

'The Happening.'

Let me begin by saying that overall, I am an M. Night fan. Sixth Sense was a great and scary movie. Signs was also very good. While Unbreakable didn't do to well in the box office, the cinematography and soundtrack was great and I really liked it.

Lady in the Water was the worst thing ever. But all good people should be allowed mistakes.

Michael Mann has Miami Vice.
Spielberg has the new Indiana Jones movie that totally doesn't live up to par.
Peter Jackson has King Kong which should have been edited down another 45 minutes.

So all that to say, I wanted to give good ol M. Night a break. After all, unlike the rest of these guys, M. Night writes his own stuff. You have to give the man his due credit.

(SPOILER ALERT:) I am going to divulge a critique here and I will discuss the ending - read further to your own peril.


The Happening easily has some of M. Night's most scary scenes ever. It is filmed in a very scary way, and although most of the movie occurs in the middle of a bright afternoon, the disturbing nature of the movie keeps a steady suspense throughout.

And I would have left the theater happy -

I would have gone home with a smile on my face -

I would not have vented and raged to everyone in the movie theater parking lot and in general made a huge spectacle of myself -

Had I not watched the last 10 minutes of the movie.

I would have been ok without an explanation of why things happened in the movie. (Stories these days are not required to answer every question).

But no.

M. Night blows it. In the last ten minutes, he preaches. Which good story tellers should NEVER DO (which is why Christian movies perform horribly at theaters and everywhere else).

Mr. Manoj Nelliyattu Shyamalan blames the entire thing on global warming, the movie serving as a warning to all those driving SUV's.

I was so ridiculously furious with paying so much money to watch propaganda. I am so HUGELY sick of having 'global warming' and 'going green' shoved down my throat on a daily basis.

And there I was, paying a fortune to eat the crap-movie up.


Walking out to my SUV with everybody else in the theater walking out to their SUV's that we have all filled with $4.10 gasoline/gallon -
I felt several question pass through my head.

Why do people believe this stuff?
If I continue buying gasoline for my car are the trees going to kill me?
What is my true responsibility to this earth?
Who does the earth belong to?
Can I get my money back from the theater?

And it is that third question that struck me - What is my true responsibility to this earth? Doesn't God say something about it to me? What does God think about all this global warming - Al Gore - Hollywood bandline - shove it down your throat - we're all going to die - end of the world - going green thing?

And I would love to write my thoughts here but it occurred to me -

I haven't spent enough time studying the Bible on this issue to really give my answers yet.

So that's what I'm doing now and I'll get back to you.


and oh, when it comes to The Happening - rent it maybe, skip the last ten minutes, or just don't.

Cheers.

The Boy Who Never Sleeps

My mom always says to me, 'Chason, say something profound.' As if this isn't already a hard enough task. But lately, with Boy-Who-Never-Sleeps, it is impossible.

It is impossible to say anything even remotely intelligible. The other night when looking for the pacifier at 3 am, I caught myself saying, 'Yes, but, that's not where it be.'

So maybe I could be a rap artist after all.

So the big question of the day is, 'What is Kohen mad about?'

This is multiple choice you have a 1/3 chance.

a. He is poopy.
b. He is hungry.
c. He enjoys being upset.
d. I am trying to have a phone call and he enjoys watching me squirm.
e. He wants to be held.
f. Hillary appeared on the TV and scared him.
g. He is afraid that Shymalan's new movie 'The Happening' will be as bad as 'Lady in the Water.'
h. He wants to see how long his parents can remain awake and still dress themselves.




Last night he shot out the side of his diaper and drenched his mother. The mother then handed the blessed child to the father who changed the diaper and got shot in the chest. Then after the third diaper, the father fed the blessed child from a bottle, as is customary in those days, and the child not only threw-up the entire bottle, but everything in his system all over the father.

And the father was well pleased at the overall distance of the projectile vomit.

I have learned that my brain feels like cotton-candy lately. It can neither think nor sleep. Which would be awesome if I was on the battelines somewhere. But I'm not.

Well, geez. Boy-Who-Poops is calling again. Gotta go.

Cheers

Success or Failure

I was out jogging yesterday.

Lets stop for a moment and discuss my disdain for the sport of jogging. I hate it. Absolutely hate it. The reason?

Because there is no reason.

I can play soccer or football, tag, ultimate Frisbee, race, whatever...and I can do all these things because I have a reason. If you don't run faster than the other guy, you wont catch the ball, and then you wont win. I can run all afternoon if I am trying to win something.

But to run laps? Its all so pointless. I feel like a gerbil or hamster in a cage running on the spindly run-in-place-circle-thing. Even with headphones on listening to angry music (yes it must be angry and preferably someone should scream every now and then to release my frustrations) its still mind-numbing.

I count the laps, one - two - three

and the whole time I'm thinking, 'Chason, you're 26 years old. Your metabolism is gone buddy. Let it die in peace. Embrace the obese community. At least they're happy, sitting at home watching Wheel of Fortune. You don't see them doing laps do you? No, you don't. Now stop this jogging business and go order a pizza.'

Anyways,

Back to the reason for this blog.

I was running my laps like a good hamster and I was thinking about the present church-situation, and I was wondering about the church's success in America, Texas, Dallas. I mean Christianity is huge business these days. Tons of retail stores, cool shirts, and you hear all about the 'Evangelical' vote in the news with the election coming up.

It sorta reminds me of the horrible 'Biosphere' movie, in that, people can actual live their entire lives inside the 'Christian bubble and culture' without ever coming out for anything. Yes ladies and gentlemen, unlike ever before in the history of man (except for maybe the crusades and the entire English history and Catholic church thing), Christianity is selling big.

And so as I ran my laps I was wondering, 'How do I know that the church in America is so successful?'

I thought to myself, Cassie and I have lived in this apartment for two years (we move out in 2 weeks OohRah). And I thought to myself, if I hadn't gone to any church on my own, and physically walked into the building of my own accord, would I have any clue of there being a church near where I live? Would I have any idea of the state of Christianity in those churches in my areas? Would I have a grasp of what is going on as far as the evangelical movement goes if I didn't physically walk into the doors between 9 and 12 on a Sunday morning?

I live at the corner of two major free ways; the Dallas North Tollway, and George W. Bush Turnpike. Within 5 miles of my house are at least 10 churches that I know of, and of those, Prestonwood church is one. Prestonwood is a huge church (my graduation ceremony was held there. Their choir practice room seats over 400 people).

I throw out that fact because in my two years of living here, I have never been contacted by anyone, any church, or any evangelical event.

Now, the Obama people came to my door during dinner, like bad Aamway salesmen, and they tried to spread Obama's HOPE and CHANGE to my life. And I hated it, plus The Office was on and this was before the baby came and I wasn't so tired that The Office was still hilarious. So I really wanted the Obama people to leave.

Lets face it, I can't think of anyone who gets excited when strangers show up at the door selling something. (Yes I know what you're thinking, 'Christians aren't selling anything.' But in a way, all the techniques are the same and if I can't tell the difference between the Christians, Mormons, and the Aamway people - they're all selling something).

So I thought to myself, 'If I don't want people to show up at my door during dinner, then how else would they contact me?'

The only thing I came up with was via the United States Post Office. But stamps are expensive these days and I haven't had time to invest in the Forever-stamp and the prices are going up again and...

So I was baffled. I didn't want people at my door and I haven't received any mail from any church. So how do I know the church in America, Texas, Dallas, the Tollway, is successful today?

Well what is the church supposed to be doing exactly anyway?

And I remembered Matthew 28:19 & 20 which pretty much sums it up in a nutshell.

"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age."

So I was running and thinking about all this and here's what I came up with. The church's (and by this I mean the churches in my area - it may not be national and it certainly isn't international) strategy is to get people in their doors. If you don't get in their doors they aren't going to do much good for you. And I can see why they don't invest a lot in going door to door. People hate that right? So they focus inwardly and build huge buildings with children's programs and Upward basketball, and soccer programs, and design cool coffee bars inside the church walls with free wifi, and on and on...

All this to get people in. Then their strategy takes on a new form once they have people within the door.

Now, without being too critical of the churches in this area, after all, they are filled with brothers and sisters in Christ and I don't want to give off the more-holy-than-thou feel.

But if no one has contacted me in any way, then it is not too hard to believe that the other 239 apartment units in my complex have not been contacted either. And the 2000 units in the complexes across from me and beside me haven't been reached either.

So then I was thinking that the church was really closer to a failure then. But who's fault is that really?

I'm thinking now that in many ways it is mine. And other Christians living in the complex like me.

If people don't want people showing up door to door, the only way they are going to hear about Jesus is through relationships. The neighbor beneath me. The lesbians down the hall from me. The girl with the loud boxer two doors down who lives with her boyfriend. The broken New Orleans family who just moved away.

The success and failure of the church, Christianity, the evangelical movement cannot possibly be judged by its large buildings and created culture. In many ways I think it cannot be measured at all. Because its success lies on the responsibility of myself to communicate with those in my sphere of life.

So when we crest over the hill up the street at Park and Midway Rd. and I see the Mecca like dome in the distance that is Prestonwood church, I wonder how many of its members are just trying to get people in their giant building. And in the process of this, I wonder how many people are being missed in suburbs and apartment complexes everywhere around and between the streets from one huge church to the next.

Is the church today, successful? I hope so. And I hope to step up to the plate and contribute. I hope you do too.

Cheers.




(I recognize this blog is long enough already but I think some clarification may be needed. I do not think that church programs of themselves are wrong. However, the real battle over the success of the Gospel in America does not lie within church buildings, but in the seas of people who never step foot in those polished doors. Therefore, while programing does provide ways of advertisement and incentives to draw people into their buildings, they fail as well, in that they appear to the surrounding community as just that - advertisements and incentives. Which is no different than Aamway or Abercrombie & Fitch.)

Baby Begins

Allow me to establish some ground rules.

1. I am not liable for anything I may say after being awake for four days on account of the baby.

2. If I put a diaper on backwards because my eyes no longer see straight - it is OK. The diaper still works.

3. No one can condemn me for my house being a mess.

4. If my hair turns grey prematurely, I would appreciate if everyone would pretend like its not.

5. If you are whining and I reach over and start bouncing you up and down, you should not take it as sexual harassment.

6. Do not ask me to speak about love, mercy, or patience anytime within the next two months.

7. If the baby gains weight, so do I. Please pretend not to notice.

8. Boxer shorts look a lot like normal shorts in the dark. If you see me in the parking lot in 'the Benjamin's' - look the other way out of courtesy.

9. Never before has Obama been of less interest to me, don't expect me to talk about him anytime soon.

10. After four days of insomnia, 'The Office' is no longer funny. In fact, Michael Scott whining sounds a lot like the baby.

Tread softly people. The Captain here with 'Special K' is seriously impaired.

Cheers.

King Spencer Recap

Well, it is about time for the latest installment of King Spencer.



For those of you who don't know much about King Spencer, it was a story that began many many months ago about a Lion who ruled the city of Eklo.

Eklo had its share of problems, the poor didn't always get taken care of, the sick didn't always get fed, and people there weren't always happy. In fact, it seemed to King Spencer that the city was never perfect, that no matter how hard he tried, things never worked out the way he wanted them to.



Then one day, a fat Hippo showed up in the city and told everyone about a city called Thotwel - a city that did it all right. This city had everything, its own food, its own culture, its own rules and customs.



Thotwel sounded so good to the townsfolk of Eklo, that they all left King Spencer in hope for a better life in the new, bigger, better city.



Eventually, King Spencer visited Thotwel himself - and found things were a lot different than he imagined. Especially the King of Thotwell, a scheming racoon named Bobby.

Bobby had it all figured out. If people all did the same, acted the same, ate the same, walked the same (and so on and so forth); than a paradise city could be established. So Bobby set off to create such a city - but one problem stood in his way.

In order for Thotwel to work, all the other cities had to be wiped out (otherwise there would be too much diversity in the land, too many decisions and differences for a real Utopia to work).

And so Eklo was just another city to be destroyed to make Bobby's dream possible.

But then, King Spencer met a noble Golden Retriever named Thomas who instructed Spencer to never give up. And with Thomas' encouragement and guidance ringing in his ears, King Spencer has set off home -

to rebuild Eklo

and to take care of that scheming raccoon, Bobby.





That's the recap people. For those of you who would like to read the entire story, you gotta page back in history for all the King Spencer saga (all the blogs start 'King Spencer...')

Thanks for all you readers that have made King Spencer a hit.

I'll keep them coming as long as you enjoy reading them.

The next issue of Spencer will show up tomorrow.

Till then,
Cheers.