Womens Liberation: Or Not.

I'd like to speak about something that has had me thinking the last
several weeks. If you have kept up at all with the 'election buzz'
then you know that Sarah Palin has been asked again and again whether she
can be a good mom and the vice president at the same time.

I kept thinking we would get a good show out of it. I expected the Womens Lib
groups to be up and arms and they don't seem to be. With the whole 'Lipstick on a Pig' comment, i expected fireworks. But not from the Womens groups I expected. So I am confused
about that. Where the heck is Ellen and Oprah?

Anyways,
I also watched the first three episodes of 'Mad Men' - a TV series
that takes place during the 60s. I had to stop watching the show
though. After every episode I became so depressed. I felt so bad for the women characters in the show. They are treated so badly. Seriously awful. Even the main character treats his wife like a nut-case while he has an ongoing affair with another
woman.

Awful.

If the show is true to how the treatment of women was back then, then I am totally appalled. I can't even imagine it. My sisters would beat me to a pulp if I treated them like that.

Which brings me to my topic. Womens Liberation.

But first, I must admit I am on thin ice here. So hold any hurt feelings for the end and then maybe you can blast me in the comments if you'd like.

The Women's Lib movement began (depending on who you ask) somewhere
between the 40's and 60's. The big issues on the table were:

Women's Rights: such as voting.
Women's Independence: such as working, shopping, living, and so forth
Women's Equality: Women should be considered equal with men in all
matters, work, home, country.
Women's Respect: This refers to overall treatment in all aspects of life.

While this doesn't nearly cover the whole scheme of what went on
between the 40's and (really) the 70's (even to today sometimes), I
think I could clump all the other things and issues into one of these
groups.


Now, to begin, lets face it. The men really missed the ball on this one from the beginning. But since I am a man, and since no other civilization had formerly beat us to the punch in this area, I wont bash men too much here. However, there is no doubt that women were not treated well in any of these areas during this time or before then.

In fact, most of the world still fails in these areas, but I will only touch on my thoughts towards the American Womens Lib movement.

I remember ten / fifteen years ago the term; 'The Ally McBeal' woman. Now, I always thought Ally McBeal looked sick, like a cancer patient with hair. I didn't think she was 'foxy' as Cosmo magazine seemed to think at the time.

But there's no denying it; Ally McBeal stood as a symbol of womens success. She was strong, independent, a woman with force in the workplace. (I didn't really watch the show. My parents didn't let me. I don't think I missed a whole lot though.) She was what women could now be in this 'new world' of womens freedoms and so forth.

She was one of the first shows banking on what women had been pushing for for a long long time. Women have been encouraged to 'get outside' of the home. Join the real world. Make money. Claim the success and respect you (women) so richly deserve.

And they poured out in droves entering every aspect of the American (and International) business world. Today, this is still the case (and I'm all for it) that women hold some of the highest positions in America; one being Condi Rice who I have always liked. And of course I
must bring up Palin and Hillary. They are symbols of how far women have come.



Currently, on most people's standards, women are more 'free' now than
ever before in the history of - well any country. But as I look back
over the list that I presented at the beginning I am not so sure women
are as well off as they might think.

First: Concerning Women's Rights: Women received the right to vote,
even to hold the office of the President.
Hillary 'valiantly and honestly' ran for the nomination.
Hillary was even shot at by snipers as she got off a plane, she said.

Sarah Palin is running for VP right now.

I think women have really made true progress in this area. They have been given the rights by their government to do and be anything that they so wish - just like the men. In fact, if women are not granted the rights to do anything that a man could do, then the women will sue faster than Obama can say 'Change' and 'Hope' and 'Stupendous.'

And they will win too. Easily. Like butter on bread.

Women have also made progress with 'Independence.' Shows like 30 Rock
capture the 'typical' working woman in Liz Lemon. However, the whole
first season is how she struggles with keeping her independence (her
tv show and job) while trying to find a home, boyfriend, kids - all
the things that will 'remove her independence.' I was driving home the
other day and I counted four daycare business within a coupe miles of
my house.

And I began to wonder if in the struggle for independence, women are
forced to detach themselves from other areas of life that they might
want. It seems to me that it is always presented, not as a both/and
situation, but as a one / or the other situation. It is very rare I
think to see a woman balancing both, independence/ home life, and doing
it well. It happens for sure. But it doesn't happen without a great
deal of work and effort. On the one hand, women are encouraged by our
society to get out there and do something. Be something. Make money.
Become empowered. Like Jan on 'The Office.'

On the other hand, they are told to be good mothers. To nurture their
children. To be a good wife. To get to the gym. To keep a perfect
figure like the Desperate Housewives.

And they must remain in perfect balance all the time or they are condemned for failing. Homelife / Executive Life.

We don't hold men to these standards. Do the men have to separate
home life / work life?' Do they balance it well? Are they supposed to?
Am I being sexist by even making this comparison?


The third area is Women's Equality: And this is the area that I want
to harp on the most. In order for Cassie (my awesome wife) to be
considered equal in my home - one thing must occur. She can say she is
equal - she may think she is equal - she may act like she is equal - the government can say she is equal -

But she will not be equal unless I look at Cassie and truly believe that she is my equal.

I have to tell her she's equal. Treat her like she's equal. And so on.
Only then is she truly equal. If I was a scumbag who thought she was
lower than dirt, then there is nothing in her power to make me ever
acknowledge that she is equal. And without my acknowledgment - she has
nothing really. Even if the entire world tells her that she is equal
to me - it doesn't mean that I will ever acknowledge it.

The country can say 'She's equal.' But the country can also say that
Racism is not allowed - and we still have a ton of it. Sad to say but
true. And on all sides by the way - which is concerning and we will
have to deal with it later.


So in this area, the Womens Lib movement is cornered in that: in order
for success - they have to have the acknowledgment from every male
that they will be treated as equals, and also be 'considered' equals.
And this 'consideration' is a lot harder to get. You can force a man
in his cubicle to treat Betsy who works next to him in a nice manner.
But even if you point a gun in his face - you can't make him
actually think she is equal. And how one thinks is a reflection of the
heart, and sooner or later, the heart will always make itself known
through its actions.

Equality is not tangible. It can only be judged by actions. So when
women wish to be treated equally - they are wanting something that
they cannot really have, but are forced to interpret the actions of
those around them, men and women, in order to see if they are
receiving what they are wishing for.

Women's Respect is right up here with the previous. It is an
abstraction. It is not tangible. And the problem with abstractions is
that they can not be nailed down. You have to clarify the term before
you can measure it. I can't ask Cassie, 'are you respected?' Without
her answering me on some non-abstract term. (She thinks - Chason values my
opinion, he acts on my wishes, he treats me in an honoring fashion -
Yes, I feel respected.)

With that in mind:
Look around the country and see who the affluent women are. Who is
leading the Women's Lib? What women are valued and why? What women's
voices are being heard?

Mariah Carey - Miss 'touch my body.'
Hillary Clinton
Oprah
Brittany Spears
The Simpson Girls
Hillary Duff
Hanah Montana
Katie Couric
Lindsey Lohan
(insert movie star actress here - and then ask yourself why she's famous)
The Desperate Housewives
The Brokeback Anatomy Chicks
Beyonce

These are the handful of women I hear about on a weekly basis. Not
what I would call a bunch of earned-my-respect women. As you turn on
the radio or watch TV - you can't help but notice the amount of songs
about sex lately (more specifically - songs about scantily clad women
who are being told to do rated R things - but no one seems to notice).
Find me a song where women are viewed as something precious - and not as something with a rear end who wants to 'take me home.' Good luck.

You can't help but notice how the women on TV have digressed. Women used to be upset with the 'animalistic nature' of men. Now the women on TV have become the real 'Animals' -
driven by sexual urges that they can't control. The age of the
men=animals is over (they may still be animals: but the women are too.
So it levels out I guess).

Good women roll models are hard to find these days - these days when
it should be a lot easier right?


If the Womens Liberation movement has succeeded - then what should you
see? I am guessing a country filled with women who are not questioned
any differently then men. If someone says, 'Sarah Palin can you be a good VP
and mom at the same time?' Then someone should also ask, 'Obama, can
you be a good father and a good P at the same time?'

If the Womens Liberation movement has succeeded - then the role models
in the society would be those that are respected for who they are and
the things they have done as a women. Not for their looks. Not for what they can do in bed.

If the Womens Liberation movement has succeeded - then women should be
shown on TV in respectful manners. They should not be the animals that
the men were once condemned for being.

Since the women are rallying for things, some of which are not
tangible, then how can we know if women in America are really as free
as they would hope they are? How can we know how far the women really have come?

I think the Womens Liberation movement has somewhat failed. And while
it may not be as bad as it was in the 60's - I don't think it has
gotten much better.

I'll show you.

(till the next blog)

Cheers